there i go again...

and here it is a month later, and i'm just now updating. life is busy, as always.

i changed my first broviac dressing tonight...imagine that, I've been a NICU nurse for over a year, and just now doing that. i felt kind of stupid asking for help and having to admit it was my first time ever...it's kind of like once you've been here six months, a year, once you've become a transport team member...you sort of expect yourself to know those things.

one of the girls who joined the transport team only a few months before i did placed lines on a new baby tonight. by herself. scrubbed in, sterile drapes (without taking 10 minutes to fully think through "this first, then this, d*&^%t, am i still sterile? yes? ok...then this..."), place the lines, suture, check the chest x-ray to ensure lines are in the right place (without having to go ask)...grr. she's been checked off and all that, but it's just frustrating to not be there yet. to still know that i am totally green as far as this transport thing goes...that at this point (and i'm not downing myself) i am probably more of a burden than a help.

humbling.