last week...

so i actually wrote this last week, but here it is...

confession: my church attendance has been pretty sketch this semester. sure, i've been gone some and worked some, but mostly, i've been a lazy bum. This past Sunday, though (12/13), i made it to the service and settled in with a few friends.

our pastor just started a new series called "The Wonder of it All." Sunday's title was "Don't Miss the Magic." Jeff talked about the Wise Men and i learned some things I didn't know before. In Matthew 2:2, the wise men are asking King Herod where the new King of the Jews is so that they can worship him. They say that they saw His star in the sky and they have been following it. The history is that the Magi had known that this star, this King, were coming for 600 years, since it had been foretold in Daniel 9. They had been watching all this time, and when they saw it, they jumped up and went to worship a foreign King who wasn't even theirs. They made a great sacrifice to cross a desert of robbers. It could have taken them anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of YEARS, people. Most importantly, they EXPECTED to worship...worship is an ACTION, not a feeling. It is a decision.

Also, they were prepared to worship...they had been watching for this to happen for 600 years, remember? They were WATCHING and WAITING and READY. After they left Herod, they continued to follow the star until it stopped where Jesus was located. Matt. 2:10 says they were totally stoked to see Jesus, that they fell down, and they offered expensive and precious gifts. SO...Jeff's point was that we should always be expecting to worship Christ in any situation...not just church. If Jesus says that whenever we have served the least of these, we have served Him, it clearly follows that acts of service to the hurting hearts and lives around us are acts of worship. Now, fast forward...

so we've been pretty busy at work here lately. close to max census, and we have a lot of high acuity (really sick) kids. 'tis the season...it's like this every year.

since it's been so busy, i worked five days last week and i'm working four this week...i am scheduled for this thurs/fri/saturday, but i had a lot of days off and no plans monday night, so i called about two o'clock monday morning to see if they needed help for monday night. my boss called me back about 7 am and said they could definitely use me, so they'd see me at 7 that evening. perfect. i jaunted off to bed and tucked myself into my warm covers to get some much-needed sleep.

i was running late for work (last minute Christmas decorations for outside), so i was one of the last ones to get there. i pulled my bag of pens and such out of my locker, clocked in, and turned around to look at the assignment sheet that held my fate for the evening. i quickly scanned the list, knowing that someone, somewhere in the unit, was waiting (probably anxiously) for my arrival. finally, i found my name.

my face fell a little. I had been assigned to two very busy, very chronic patients who have both been in our unit for a while. Both of them can get very agitated and be difficult to calm and have very involved nursing care needs. My report took a good 15 or 20 minutes. One of the boys had been good all day, requiring nothing other than his scheduled meds. The other had a pretty rough day, and his mom had been around for most of it. Like so many mothers, she has taken her son's illness very hard, and the months and months of uncertainty are wearing on her. My heart went out to her as I listened to the day shift nurse weave her tale. I knew I was equal to the task of competently caring for my patients, but I was also anticipating lots of running, lots of medications, and probably some frustration second to the inconsolability of my two little charges.

the day shift nurse finally made her escape, wishing me a good night. i organized my charts just the way i like them, cleaned up my desk area, and signed in to the hospital's computer charting system. i noted all of the medications i would need to give, treatments to be administered, feedings, and anything else pertinent to my patients' care on my notes. i peeked into each of the kids' rooms to check on them and jotted down some quick vital signs as i verified that the settings on all of their monitors and machines were correct. both babies were sleeping, so i sat back down to set up my game plan for the night, all the while thinking (a bit self-righteously), "this is going to be a rough night, just get ready...but hey, it's only 12 hours, you can do anything for 12 hours!"

and then i stopped. i remembered that sermon on Sunday. in serving these little kids...in taking care of them, the least of these...the sick ones...in serving them, i would be serving Christ. worshiping Him. and since when has service ever been easy, i ask you? it wouldn't be worship if sacrifice weren't involved. so, sitting there at my little desk, paperwork scattered about...i dropped my head, covered my face, and began to pray like i have never prayed at work.

"Abba, be here tonight. Give me unending patience with these little ones, no matter how upset or inconsolable they are. Fill my mind with your spirit and your compassion for these precious creations of yours. Make my hands and my words gentle, and keep me ever conscious of my actions around them. This little one here, Lord...be with this one's mama. She's so lonely, and she's having such a hard time. Give her courage, Lord, and wrap your arms around her spirit and cover her with your love and peace. Bring comfort to her baby tonight so that he can rest peacefully and not struggle so much. That one over there, Lord...place your hands of peace on him and let him rest. Keep his little spirit calm, and let him respond to me and feel safe with me. His mom is so good with him, Lord...keep her spirits up, because I know this long stay is so hard on her. Bless her for her patience and faithfulness in coming and caring for him. He responds so well to her; is calmer with her than with any of the nurses. Lay your hands over this place, tonight. Make your presence near. I love you. Amen."

And I lifted my head and opened my eyes. What followed was one of the greatest examples I have seen of calling on Jesus and Him answering immediately and in a specific manner.

The rest of the night, one of my little ones was so agitated, no matter what I did or what meds I gave him. He was just having a rough time. Through it all, I stayed calm, talking to him and patting him to help him calm. My other little patient slept well for much of the night, and if he got upset, he was easily calmed and his oxygen status was doing really well. But through everything, I was conscious of being the hands and feet of Christ. I was aware of all of my actions. i can't even explain it...but it was amazing. I felt the attitude of Christ dwelling in me. What wonder and amazement, that he would use someone like me to be a vessel of His love. amazing grace, how sweet the sound...it's true.

so good.

the FINAL final act

Gather round, children, for I have a story to tell you!

So, as of my last post (and my sorries that it was in September...how patiently you wait!), I had spoken with Donna at CSI and she sent my claim confirmation email. So I got it opened up, printed and signed the release, and faxed it back to CSI. According to them, I should receive my claim check (from Express, no less) within 45 days.

Including weekends, yesterday (the day that the check arrived in my mailbox) was day #50. Are we shocked? No. Do I care? Nope. It's in my hands! A few interesting points: I first called Express on Friday the 6th to check on the status of my check, and they never answered/called me back. I called them again on Monday and they were like, oh yeah, we mailed it a day or so you called! Ok, whatev. You're in Houston, I'm in SA...should take two days, max. I call them again yesterday, and they're like, well, we sent it...it should be coming...k, whatever. So I finally get it today, and guess what?? The check is dated 11/7/09...a day AFTER my first call! I bet they were just going to sit on it til I called! Haters.

Also, note on my facebook album that the handwriting on the envelope looks like a serial killer's handwriting, AND they can't spell my street name. Interesting. BUT I HAVE THE CHECK! I think I'll photocopy it before I cash it, and then I can frame it or put it in a scrapbook or something.

more later about my life; just thought i'd share the last bit of the saga!

summer drama: the final act (and how apropos, since we're a few days into fall...)

well, express relocation is F.I.N.A.L.L.Y. in my past. yes, people. finally. i mailed in my claim letter (sorry...packet, since it was about 30 pages worth of information and complaint and a packet of 4x6 glossies detailing just how bad they screwed up my stuff) on June 20. Monday was September 21 (that's 3 months and 1 day later...), and so i decided to make a call to the claims company-CSI.

So I dial them up and a nice lady named Donna answers the phone. Hi Donna, how are you? Good. My name is Amy Legg, and I filed a claim with you several months ago. Yes ma'am...months, not weeks. You'll check into it? Stellar. Here's my claim number. ......... Really?? You sent me a confirmation on July 23rd? How VERY odd. If my dear blog readers will recall, that is National Purple Beast Day! Funny coincidence.

So, Donna...I never got that email, and trust me, I'd remember. This has been the drama of my summer and I'd like nothing better than to be done with it. What? Do I check my email? Um...yeah. Several times a day. *What the heck kind of question is that?* Oh, I see. Emails from your company get kicked straight to spam all the time? Stellar. Can you resend that email? You can? Excellent. I will add you to my email list straightaway.

*several hours later*

Wake up from nap and excitedly (but guardedly) check phone. ooh look! new mail! Open it up...three attachments. Open the first one...delineation of claim. final verdict: $152. They approved my claim for $152. It's not the $400 or $500 I claimed, but i don't care. i truly don't. i am so over expending emotional energy on something i can't change. i refuse to engage in a pissing contest of who can scream louder and bitch longer. i am O.V.E.R. them. yay me for getting some money out of the whole mess...i expected them to reject the whole claim.

small victory/jab for me...i did end up claiming the vacuum because when i sent the information in, I still hadn't received it and wouldn't, in fact, for about another month. weights were required for all pieces that i was claiming...i called it 10 pounds. i received a $9 compensation for vacuum not received. and then a month later...i got the vac anyway! ha! screw you express! you had to pay to ship my vacuum (although, recalling the way it was "packaged"...it probably only cost about $9 to ship!), and you then had to pay some compensation for my vacuum because you took so freaking long to get it to me!

i win, assholes. screw you a thousand times. and...be it petty or not...i hope you screw the wrong person and get totally taken out. blah!

love to all (except express, for whom i noted my feelings above)!

:)

reflections on 09.11.2001

to every soldier...every police officer...every firefighter...every volunteer...every person involved from every area of this country...thank you for your sacrifices, your dedication...your committment to this country. to every victim and their families...our prayers continue for you. may God continue to heal and comfort your hearts.

we will never forget.



and go figure...Obama didn't even bother to show up at Ground Zero today. Walter Kronkite, yes...anniversary of a turning point in American history...no. Wake up, America...have you figured out who you REALLY elected into office yet?

life and vacuums

all right, my friends...i know i have been conspicuously absent. first and foremost...

51 DAYS LATER, I FINALLY HAVE THE VACUUM!!! yes people, i finally got it TODAY. i think i'm going to declare July 23 a national holiday...we'll call it "Purple Beast Day." I picked it up from the apartment office this morning and then went to Sea World to hang out with Becca and her family...what fun!

Life has been good the last month or so (with the exception of fighting with the movers...but I'm done with that, and not just because the vacuum is here...I have expended so much emotional energy on them, and I'm just done. I have other things to spend my emotions on!).

I have learned so much at the Rosa. There have been a few days that I've come home overwhelmed, but I don't think there has been a moment that I have regretted it. Things are very different here...I think the two biggest things have been the boxes (incubators) and the fact that there are so many different doctors and nurse practitioners. The incubators didn't take long to learn, and it's really nice to be able to control the baby's environment more. Little bit harder to start IVs, but you just kind of turn the baby sideways and do it that way and it's not so bad. I still have yet to figure out how the schedule works with when different doctors are on call and when to notify an MD vs. an NNP. All the nurses are telling me that I'll get there, though.

I've visited a few churches, and I'll probably check out at least a few more, but I found a great Bible study and some fantastically sweet girls that I'm excited about getting to know better. I do miss my friends in lubbock, but life is good, and i am content!

Much love!

the letter...and other things...

okay, i have a little time before i leave for work this morning, so here is the letter. pictures after it, and the description of the pic is underneath it. happy reading!

June 15, 2009

To Whom it May Concern:

My name is Amy Legg (Job # 3826262-01) and I am writing in reference to my recent move from Lubbock, TX, to San Antonio, TX.

I contacted Nationwide Relocation at the end of March to prepare for my move. I gave a complete furniture list (which was later revised) and was told that I would be contacted a week or so before my move to ensure that my furniture list was still correct, my date was still the same, and in general to make sure that all details were ironed out. All paperwork was faxed to me by a Nationwide representative (John Niewoehner). I signed the paperwork and faxed it back to John.

I was contacted by Nationwide on Sunday, May 24, 2009 to verify the contents of my home. I was given an updated estimate and new paperwork was emailed to me. I signed the new paperwork and faxed it back to Nationwide on Tuesday, May 26, 2009. On Wednesday, May 27, 2009, I still had not heard from the carrier, Express Relocation Inc. about what time they would be at my home to pick up my belongings and move them to San Antonio. I contacted Nationwide and they gave me the phone number for Express Relocation. I then contacted Express Relocation and was told that movers would not be at my house until between noon and 2:00 PM on Thursday, May 28, 2009.

Express Relocation arrived at my house shortly after 3 PM on Thursday, May 28, 2009. I went over the paperwork with the driver (Amir) and signed in the appropriate places, including a release stating that any pressed board furniture should be transported AS IS and not disassembled, either by me or the carrier as stated in the contract the driver and I both signed. Part of the contract also stated that the carrier had until June 4, 2009 to deliver my belongings, but I was assured that it would be well before then. When Amir opened the truck, I saw that someone else’s belongings were already loaded in the truck. He explained that the drop off he had attempted before coming for my belongings had fallen through, and so he would have to leave their belongings in the truck and ask his boss what needed to be done with them. He explained the process for distinguishing my belongings from those of the other person and began loading, assuring me several times that all of my furniture would fit in the truck and be protected during the nine hour drive from Lubbock, TX to Houston, TX.

Several of my belongings (including several large, expensive pieces of furniture) had yet to be loaded when it became evident that my belongings would NOT in fact all fit inside the truck. The movers made the decision to leave the load/unload ramp on the back of the truck up and to load the rest of my belongings onto it and then strap them securely on. My furniture and other belongings were loaded and the driver showed me that they were secure.

I asked the driver when I would receive my belongings. He stated that it would probably be either Friday afternoon May 29 or Saturday May 30. He stated that he needed to return one of the men with him (as he was only allowed to take 2 people; himself and another person, on deliveries) and also get some sleep. He stated that he would weigh my truck shortly after leaving my house in Lubbock, TX, and that I could call Nationwide the next day (Friday May 29) to find out the weight of the truck and thus the amount I would owe when he arrived in San Antonio with my belongings. He also stated that if I had any questions, I could call him on his personal cell phone.

I arrived in San Antonio at approximately 2:30 in the morning on Friday, May 29. I called Nationwide first to find out the weight of my truck, and they stated that they had not heard from the carrier (Express Relocation). I began calling Express Relocation around noon to find out the status of my delivery. I was not able to get ahold of someone until approximately 3:30 PM Friday afternoon. I was told that the truck had just arrived in Houston and that it had not been weighed yet. I was not given a time or date for when my belongings would arrive.
Saturday morning May 30, I attempted to call Express Relocation again to find out when my belongings would be delivered. The answering machine stated that the company was closed on Saturdays, which I found odd because the driver had stated that my belongings would possibly be delivered Saturday. I left a message for my call to be returned and then attempted to call the driver, as he had stated I was welcome to do so. I called the driver MULTIPLE times on Saturday and left several messages. The phone was never answered and I never received a call back.

Sunday morning May 31, I called Express Relocation yet again. The phone was answered at 10:00 AM by Ricky. He stated that the company is closed on Saturdays and the driver did not answer his phone for religious reasons. When I stated my serious concerns about the condition of my belongings due to the fact that they had been strapped to the back of a truck and I had not been updated on their status, he stated that my truck was in a warehouse and that my belongings were covered and “everything looks good.” He stated that my delivery would be on Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at approximately 8-9 AM.

Monday, June 1, I received a call from Nationwide to check on the progress of my move. I explained my frustrations about phone calls not being returned and not being informed about the condition and location of my belongings. The representative apologized and asked me to call Nationwide back if I had not heard from the movers by the time they opened the next morning.
Tuesday morning, I woke up early and made sure things were in order for the movers’ arrival. I still had not heard from the driver at 8:45 AM. I called Nationwide, and they contacted Express Relocation and had Ricky contact me. He stated that he was sorry, but it would be another hour before my belongings would even be loaded, so it would probably be between noon and 1 PM when my belongings were delivered. He stated that the driver would call me about an hour before the estimated arrival. I thanked him and hung up. At 12:30 PM, I still had not heard from the driver. I called Express back, and Ricky stated that the driver had just left 30 minutes before my call, so it would be approximately 3:30 PM before my belongings arrived in San Antonio.

The driver finally arrived shortly after 4:00 PM. I showed him where the main pieces of furniture would go and said we could just stack boxes around them. The first few pieces of furniture came in uneventfully. All furniture had been completely wrapped in blankets and taped to prevent scratching. Then the movers began bringing in my leather couch. It took them several minutes to figure out how to get it into the door, as it is rather large. In the process, the protective blankets slipped off. They merely tossed the blankets aside and proceeded to drag my leather couch through the door and across concrete, completely unprotected. It sustained several corner scratches which are documented in included photographs. Damage was also sustained to a supporting leg on the underside of a very heavy dresser. Photographs of the underside of the dresser and of the whole dresser are included. One box (photo included) sustained severe water damage. Another box had a side that was nearly shredded, compromising the integrity of the box and its ability to protect its contents. A large mirror had a v-shaped break (see photos) and one of the legs of my office desk was partially broken away from the desk, causing unsteadiness with any movement of the desk. The drivers were generally very careless about moving boxes into the house. Almost every box that had been marked “this side up” was turned upside down, and weight was unevenly distributed, causing the boxes below them to be crushed. After the movers left, I walked outside and noticed a very large pile (approximately two feet by three feet) of trash in the parking lot of my apartment complex. It contained mostly bubble wrap and large pieces of tape. The movers also left water bottles lying around the parking lot and even stuffed one empty plastic bottle into the bushes.

A few days after receiving my belongings, I realized that I was missing two end tables made of wood and a brand new vacuum cleaner, purchased only a week before my move. I found the end tables when I opened a box. They had been (obviously very carelessly) disassembled, the pieces all thrown into a box together. I never consented to have the tables disassembled and was never told they would be disassembled. The pieces of the two tables sustained multiple scratches and dings, and nearly all of the screws that would have been needed to reassemble the tables were gone (see included photographs). After consulting with my father, who was present the day of my move, I learned that he watched the movers hurriedly and haphazardly disassemble the tables in my front yard in their haste to load their truck and get on the road.

As of this writing, I am still waiting for my vacuum cleaner. Three days after I received my belongings on June 2, I finished unpacking all of my boxes and noted that the vacuum cleaner was still missing. The driver had also left a Bill of Lading with me that was blank on my copy and I needed something clearer. Ricky faxed me a copy of all of my paperwork and, when I asked him about my vacuum, he stated, “Oh yeah, we have it here. We’re going to bring it on Tuesday (June 9) when we bring another load to San Antonio.” I thanked him and hung up. I called on Tuesday at 4:30 PM to verify that my vacuum would be arriving. Ricky stated that I needed to call the driver and give him my address; that he would be at my house around 11 PM. He stated that the driver had left Houston at approximately 4:15 PM and it would take him about four hours to get to San Antonio. He would then need to deliver his first load before coming to me. I called the driver at approximately 10 PM and was told that he was already on his way back to Houston. No attempt was made to try to contact me before he left. I spoke with Ricky (who states he is the owner) on June 11, and he stated that he will call me when he has a truck in the area, probably sometime during the week of June 15th.

My family has moved multiple times in my life, and I have NEVER had such a negative experience as this one. The services Express Relocation has provided have been abysmal. Their employees have no respect for customer belongings and I have had to call multiple times almost every time I have contacted the company in order to get ahold of someone. I feel I have been outright lied to (saying my belongings would be delivered on a Saturday when the company is closed Saturday) and that they really have no concern for me as a customer. I will not be recommending their company to anyone. Although I have had a very positive experience with Nationwide, if they continue to retain Express Relocation as a carrier, I will not recommend Nationwide’s services.

I would appreciate being kept abreast of any and all proceedings following and I appreciate the help of all involved in settling my claims and making this right. Thank you again so much for your consideration and (to Nationwide) for doing all you can to help me.

Sincerely,

Amy Legg

Photograph Descriptions/Explanations
June 13, 2009

To Whom it May Concern:
This letter details explanations for each photograph. Photographs will be described in numeric order. The number in this letter matches the number on the back of each photograph and, in addition, the number in this letter is the same as the photograph’s file name (i.e., photo #1’s file name is express1, etc.).

End Tables: These two end tables were purchased two years ago and weighed approximately 10 lb. each. The tables are made of real wood and were disassembled without my consent or prior notice. The tables sustained multiple scratches to several different pieces. The tables are missing a significant number of screws/equipment that would be needed to reassemble them. The pieces were received in a box and appeared to have been thrown into the box with no care taken to prevent any scratching or other damage.

Photo is of part of one of the tables’ legs. A large scratch is noted on the edge of one of the sides. No zoomed out photo of complete item was able to be taken as a result of complete destruction by moving company. See below for documentation of complete set of pieces of end tables retained.

Photo of another table leg. Long scratch noted along the side of the leg. No zoomed out photo of complete item was able to be taken as a result of complete destruction by moving company. See photo below for documentation of complete set of pieces of end tables retained.

Photo of piece of end table documenting missing lock that would be necessary to reattach it to other pieces of end table. No zoomed out photo of complete item was able to be taken as a result of complete destruction by moving company. See photo below for documentation of complete set of pieces of end tables retained.

Zoomed-in photograph of table leg. Note that the white screw stabilizer in the right side of the photo is broken off halfway down, rendering reuse impossible. No zoomed out photo of complete item was able to be taken as a result of complete destruction by moving company. See photos below for documentation of complete set of pieces of end tables retained.

Zoomed-in alternate image of same leg documented in photo #4. Broken screw stabilizer is now visible on the left side of the leg. Note the gold of the screw visible due to broken stabilizer. No zoomed out photo of complete item was able to be taken as a result of complete destruction by moving company. See photo below for documentation of complete set of pieces of end tables retained.

Detail photo of top of lamp part of end tables. One “halo” needed to hold lampshade in place was missing. No zoomed out photo of complete item was able to be taken as a result of complete destruction by moving company. See photo below for documentation of complete set of pieces of end tables retained.

Detail view of underside of one of the two end table tops. This is the underside of the table. Only one of four sides for underside support is present; others were broken off. Also, note the presence of screw holes made to attach top to rest of furniture. No screws were found in the box the pieces of the end table came in. No zoomed out photo of complete item was able to be taken as a result of complete destruction by moving company. See photo below for documentation of complete set of pieces of end tables retained.

Detail of underside of second of the two end table tops. Note again the presence of multiple screw holes with screws and attached pieces stripped from them. No zoomed out photo of complete item was able to be taken as a result of complete destruction by moving company. See photo below for documentation of complete set of pieces of end tables retained.

Detail of top of one of the table’s supporting legs. Attached pieces were removed in such a way that damage shown occurred. Furniture will be unusable due to no secure place to reattach connecting pieces. No zoomed out photo of complete item was able to be taken as a result of complete destruction by moving company. See photo below for documentation of complete set of pieces of end tables retained.

View of all pieces of two end tables retained in box: two tops, two lamp attachments, two lower shelves, seven single legs/connecting pieces, and three fully assembled leg supports.

Leather couch: This leather couch was purchased two and a half years ago from Lack’s furniture store. I am unsure of the weight.

Detail of small scratches sustained to a corner end of a couch. This piece had absolutely no scratches prior to this move.

Detail of rough scratch measuring approximately one inch long on the front part of a couch cushion (look carefully in the middle of the picture).

Detail of corner scratch measuring approx ½ in by ¾ inch on the corner of the couch.

Detail of scratch on bottom corner of couch. The scratch is approximately two inches long. Also not multiple scratches to the wooden sofa “leg”.

Detail of scratches and scuffs to front bottom corner of couch. The scratch under the bottom row of nailheads is three inches long. Also note scuffing to the material underneath the couch and to multiple nailheads; this is a result of the couch being dragged across concrete.


Frontal view of couch.

Framed mirror: 1 photo.

This mirror measures 32 inches x 44 ½ inches and weighs approximately 20 lb. The straight crack measures 28 inches and the curved crack measures approximately 30 inches.

Dresser: This dresser was purchased two years ago at Furniture Row/Bedroom Expressions. The dresser weighs approximately 275 lbs.

Detail photo of supporting leg under the front middle of the dresser. The wood was stripped away from two supporting pegs that held the leg in place, thus compromising the supporting leg’s ability to do what it is supposed to do. In time, because of the weight of the dresser, there is a possibility that the front of the dresser will begin to sag.

Full photo of dresser and attached mirror.

Shredded box


This box was brand new when I received it, having been used only to mail lightweight paper hospital gowns from the company to the hospital I worked in. When I received it in San Antonio, it was in this condition. The inside of the box contained multiple breakable items and decorating pieces. Fortunately, damage was only done to the outside of the box.

Water-damaged box

This box was used to move dry goods and some small cooking utensils. The box was very obviously water-damaged when I received it and was, in fact, still damp. Several items in the top of the box (approximately $30 value) had to be thrown away.

Office desk: Purchased four years ago. Unsure of the weight.

Closeup of damage to right front leg of wooden desk. Desk now wobbles when moved and is not stable.

Full photo of office desk. Damage was sustained to front right leg.

well, there you go...what you guys think?

"one thing you know, in faith you find...something to stand on or you will be taught to FLY..."

so this whole experience has been a leap of faith, and i'm not sure if i'm flying or if God's given me something to stand on yet...but i definitely know His hand is here.

Sunday was my first full day in the unit. rolled out of bed around 5 and was on the road by about 5:45. got to the unit a little early (i know, all of my Lubbock people are shocked) and found my place. had one of the same kids i had on friday plus two cardiac babies. my preceptor's name was Cat...and she was hilarious. great about teaching (and picking on me) and gave me the twin that we had to take care of for the day. i did all care (with a little help) and all of the charting (with a lot of help!). got nicknamed "sparky" by one of the transport nurses, because i told her i want to eventually be able to do everything in the unit (ECMO, take care of head cooling babies, transports, and cardiac--only certain nurses take care of cardiac babies) and that i love to be involved and get really excited about stuff. first feeding went off without a hitch. got baby changed and assessed and such, and cat gave me a crash course in incubators. one of the really cool things is that if you have to open the doors or take down the side, there's a button you can push and it creates a "heat wall" between baby and the outside of the incubator to help prevent the cold air from getting in. kind of like that wall of air you meet with at the grocery store to keep the bugs out. *thanks for the analogy, beth! :)* in addition to the servo temp (set temp for non NICU people) and the baby's temp, the environment temperature is also displayed. got little one's feeding started (it's all over a pump here...usually 30 min to an hour) and then went to the computer. got as much done as i could without help, and then cat came over. "did you do your abdominal girth?" nope...didn't know i was supposed to. how often do we do it? "every shift." sure, got it. will do it at noon. we looked at the assessment, meds (the MAR is also computerized...no sheet to print out, and we don't doublecheck routine meds...still the narcs and serious stuff though), feeding assessment...it was really amazing. nice to be able to go back and edit if i needed to, but definitely slower than just whipping out my pen and writing it down, although some nurses will write things down throughout the day and then put everything in at the end of the shift.

the rest of the day went pretty well...i spent my time exploring the chart (which is much smaller because a lot of the charting is online) and playing with the computer system. the nurse who dubbed me sparky came to me about 10:30 and asked if i wanted to go on a c-section...of course! then she stood up for me when the nurse practitioner stated that they already had plenty and i would probably be in the way. "it's okay, she's not going to do anything, she's just gonna watch." mostly the same setup for deliveries, except the warmer in L&D stays there if baby has to come back to us. we have a couple of carts with an isolette and a transport bag set aside just for deliveries, and baby comes back in those.

now...for the things that are a little different...for starters, pretty much all babies in the unit feed every three hours. blood pressures are with every feed (on every baby) and we do abdominal girths every shift. the incubator was not as big a deal as i thought it would be. i could do pretty much everything i needed to with just the windows open, but i did have to take the whole side down to turn baby prone. another big difference is the developmental aids...they use something called a Z-Flo here. it's like a whole mattress that's a semi-solid material that can be formed any way you want and it will stay that way. you just squish it around with your fingers and form it the way you need it to be, and it has two straps (kind of like the snugglies) that you can sort of hold baby in with. i get the feeling that the nurses don't like them so much...they think they're a pain. also, they are trialing something called Prolacta with some of their babies...it's like HMF, only liquid, and i think it's got protein in it that HMF doesn't or something. so you have to thaw the stuff out (they have a milk thawer...that's cool) and then you add a certain amount of breast milk (10 cc prolacta+40cc breast milk). there's four different concentrations depending on what you want your final caloric intake to be. we also use donor breast milk that comes from the milk bank in austin. it has a lot number and expiration on it and has been pasteurized. when you take one out, you just have to log the lot # and expiration on a log kept on the baby's clipboard. very interesting.

so the day was relatively uneventful...i learned a lot and it was a good day. i'll be out of the unit for a week because i have new nursing orientation on tuesday/wed/thurs and then i'm off the weekend because friends are coming in and i'm going to SEA WORLD ON FRIDAY!!! cool!!! i haven't been since i was like 8 or something. can't wait!

on a different note...i emailed my narrative of my whole moving experience and photos to my original contact at Nationwide today, and I should have my claims stuff in the mail by the end of the week. for your viewing pleasure, i will be posting the letter and photos on here...get excited! hopefully i will actually get something out of this for all the work i've put into it...

okay, gotta go to bed so i'm not falling asleep tomorrow. much love to all!

another first day!

4:50 AM: Addison Road's "Hope Now" blasts out of my phone. time to wake up...

5:00 AM: crawling into the shower...more music blasting from the iPhone to help me wake up.

5:46 AM: heading out the door on my way to work. the drive is usually about 25-30 minutes depending on traffic, but it's nice to have a little time to listen to music or sing or pray or whatever. if it weren't so early in the morning, i might call a friend and have a catch-up conversation. :)

6:11 AM: I pull into the parking garage a little ahead of schedule. I get my stuff all together, and then here we go...

I was pulled back to junior high when i walked into the area where staff lockers and the lounge are. every locker has a combination lock on it...something i haven't used since high school! i bent down to stick my stuff in, praying that i would remember how to use them and not have to ask someone...and i did it! it was kind of awkward in the lounge...nobody really said anything to me, but i could tell they were all curious as to who i was. i found out where the assignments are posted. call me a dork or call it significant, but when i found myy assignment, my heart warmed a little...beds 21 and 22. 21 is my lucky number...maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was God giving me a little push and saying, "hey, get out there and be yourself...you're going to be fine!"

my nurse was running a little late (i found out later that her kid started getting sick at 5:30 this morning) so the transport nurse got report for her. we were taking care of a set of twins born at 25ish weeks, now 31ish weeks. the incubators were the biggest noticeable difference. the monitors and IV pumps are also different, and of course, the computer charting. they still do paper I&O's and the orders are written on paper, but all of the assessments and the MAR on on the computer. i had a class today to learn about all of that, and it makes sense so far.

since i wasn't even in the unit the whole day, i mostly just observed the nurses and oriented myself to my new environment. i left around 11:15 to get to my class (in a different hospital across town). the nurses were great once we got through report and into their routines. im excited...i can't wait to get into my real orientation with consistent preceptors and start LEARNING!

okay, now a rewind...

TUESDAY: second day of hospital orientation. also, i finally got ahold of my original contact with nationwide. i reiterated my frustrations and general disgust with the carrier, and he apologized profusely and asked me to send him a written copy of my experience and all of the photographs i will be sending to the claims department. i agreed. (still working on those...hopefully i'll get everything finished up tomorrow while i'm off.) that afternoon, i called Express to verify that they would FINALLY be bringing me my vacuum. the guy told me that the driver left houston for san antonio around 4:15. the drive takes around 4 hours for a big truck, putting the driver in san antonio around 8:15. the dispatcher gave me the driver's phone number and told me that i needed to call him around 8 to give him my address, which i thought was retarded...but ok. i mean, they just delivered my stuff a week ago...they've already lost my address? whatever. well, naturally, i forgot...i called the driver around 10. he said he'd left san antonio two hours before, because i hadn't called him. i know it's probably mostly my fault bc i was supposed to call him, but it just makes me mad bc that shouldn't be my responsibility. that was the first time in this whole experience that i was truly ANGRY. i'm just so sick of dealing with these people and their idiocy. they're the ones who forgot the vacuum in the first place; they should be the ones keeping up with how it gets back to me! stayed up for a couple more hours sorting through paperwork, and then off to bed.

WEDNESDAY: off. stayed in bed until 2. fantastic. got up and ran errands and mailed mom's birthday present. that night, i decided to take a field trip to Whole Foods and see what i could see. here's what i found...good times...

they have a MASSAGE PARLOR in the GROCERY STORE!!!! i can just see it..."relax, just breathe deep; in and out...*PRICE CHECK ON AISLE FOUR!!!*...in and out..." HELLO?!? go to a place where you can get commando and not worry about an overhead loudspeaker or hearing twenty people walk by talking on their cell phone! just sayin'...

crystal deodorant. hmm. so how do you know when you've put enough on? does it scratch your armpit?

frozen dog food. in tubes like they put hamburger meat in. interesting concept. do you have to fry it in a skillet, too?

digital price tags. how very cool!

as i was preparing to leave, i decided to run back by the soup and crackers aisle to get some water crackers...good snack. as i made my selection, a lady breezed by me and down to the soups. then...i saw the most bizarre thing i have ever seen. she took a can of soup and, while cupping it in the palm of one hand, she took a little arrowhead looking thing on a small chain and swung it over the soup. she put that can back, took another of exactly the same brand and type, and swung the chain over it again. apparently that one met her satisfaction, because she took it and walked on, never noticing that i was behind her. i called michelle to see if she had ever heard such a thing. she had not. i didn't want to offend the lady by asking her "what the heck?", but michelle made a good point...besides punk rocker goth people, hippies are more than willing to share their stories and and answer your questions, and are some of the friendliest people you will ever meet. true that. so i get off the phone and yes...i track this lady through the grocery store. yes, only me. i find her, apologize, and say that i by no means intend to offend her but...what the heck was she doing? she starts telling me about her pendulum and how it helps her find foods/vitamins/etc. that mesh with her system and her body's energies. she says its an art that she began learning from a naturalist in albuquerque back in the 70s (shocker!). then, another lady she met a few months ago who happened to walk up start talking about this blood type diet...not a lose weight kind of diet, but like, if your blood type is O, you follow this diet, etc., etc. it was...enlightening. very interesting. like michelle said..."only at whole foods!"

THURSDAY: on wed. night, i couldn't find my schedule for where i needed to be thursday. i knew i had a meditech class for half a day thurs and half a day friday, but i couldn't remember what times and didn't know where. so i crawl out of bed at 5, get ready, and get myself to the hospital by 7ish. hung out around HR until 8, when i find out (at 8:20) that my class starts at 8...at medical center. i am at city center...downtown. med center is a mile from my house...in NW San Antonio. so i get in the car, haul it, at get to the classroom at around 9. i apologized profusely to the the instructor, and she apologized right back, saying that there was no way she could get me caught up as late as i was. could i come back at 1? sure. go figure. again...only me...

okay kids...it's wicked late, you're all caught up, and i'm wiped out. g'nite...leave me some love!

first day!!

ok, this is going to have to be quick because i have to be up EARLY!

i DID make it to orientation on time today (yay me...8 minutes to spare!)...so proud of myself. see, it's actually quite an ordeal for me to get to work. takes me about 25-30 minutes depending on traffic (and no, my precious lubbockites, i do not hate it yet), and by the time i roll into the parking garage, i have taken three different highways to get there. and i only needed my garmin the first few times. i feel like an old pro :).

so orientation was all the usual stuff...benefits, endless safety stuff, the talk about the hospitals history and values and the founding nuns, more safety stuff, glucometer training, and MORE safety stuff. did i mention safety stuff?

end of the day, i had to run up to the unit to get some schedule stuff. the educator remembers me from November and bless her sweet soul, she didn't run the other way when she saw me :). got all of that figured out and was done.

house is still kind of cluttered (such is my life) but i'm going to work really hard on that tomorrow evening and on wednesday. i have meditech training for half a day thurs and then friday morning. friday afternoon i'm off to the unit for my first day there. say prayers that i listen good, nod, say yes ma'am a lot, and keep my pie hole shut! i am so excited about learning new stuff. pray God makes me a little pint-sized sponge and that i take to it all like surfactant to a 24 weeker's lungs.

can't wait to see you Lubbock people who are coming down this summer. the ones who have no plans to come yet...YET...what are you waiting on? ;)

much love to all...more soon!

grace,
amy :)

the long awaited post...

okay...for all of my devotees, my apologies. i haven't been to michelle's in a couple of days, and time warner just came today to get my internet hooked up. loving the fact that i am up in my loft laying in my bed and updating my blog. yess!!!

some of you know the story, but for those who don't...go potty and get a fresh cup of whatever you drink before you start reading, because you're in it for the long haul!

MONDAY:

it's been such a crazy week, i really don't remember all that much from Monday. mostly, we just puttered around the (mostly empty) house, mom reading and me running various errands all over town. had to go up to the hospital to get my TB test and inprocessing paperwork. Occupational (employee) health then sent me upstairs to have titers (levels) drawn to make sure i have chicken pox and Hepatitis B immunity, among other things. then off to a clinic to pee in a cup and prove to "them" that i do not have an affinity for fentanyl, versed, morphine, or any other drug i might come into contact with in the hospital (and some that i would only come across under the I-35 bridge). i think there was probably a trip to wal-mart in there, somewhere. heaven knows i've been like 20 times in the last four days. got a confirmation call from the freaker idiots at express...*SOAPBOX ALERT* DO NOT EVER EVER EVER USE ANY MOVING COMPANY THAT IS IN ANY WAY AFFILIATED WITH EXPRESS RELOCATION...EVER!!!! *soapbox over* ...that my stuff would indeed be delivered Tuesday morning, probably around 9ish am. fantastic...and about freakin' time!! i crawled into bed feeling reassured that i would soon have my life back.

TUESDAY:

0700: alarm clock goes off. hit snooze.
0709: alarm clock goes off. hit snooze.
0718: alarm clock goes off. hit snooze.
0727: alarm clock goes off. turn off alarm. roll out of bed, tug jeans on. deodorant and perfume. grab keys and head off to Shipley Donuts *heaven!!!!*
0800: place order at Shipley's. proceed to dump out purse before realizing that debit card is at apartment. blast.
0819: retrieve debit card from home.
0834: retrieve donuts.
0848: pick up OJ and milk. call Nationwide to tell them that movers were supposed to be here between 8 and 9 and i still haven't heard from them.
0910: dispatch at Express calls. "we're really sorry, we're just getting your truck loaded and we're gonna have to weigh it. we should be in SA about noon." fantastic. see you guys then.
0935: after enjoying the bliss that is Shipley's, crawl back between covers on air mattress and proceed to weave in and out of dreamland for the next couple of hours.
11:50: check phone clock, realize that i should probably get off my hump and help mom start moving what little stuff is out, out of the way.
12:10: stuff out of the way. still haven't heard from movers.
12:30: called dispatch directly. um...i still haven't heard from the driver. when are you guys gonna be here? "oh, we're really sorry. we had a lot of trucks to load and unload today. they just left about an hour ago. tehy'll be there about 3:30, 4:00." grr! fine, i guess i can wait another couple of hours.
4:20: movers FINALLY SHOW UP!!! Hallelujah!!!

...or not. The furniture was in the back, so it got unloaded first. They brought in my office furniture, etc., and then started unloading my bedroom suite...the relatively expensive one that I bought when I graduated from nursing school. they got the headboard and footboard upstairs, and then scuffed up the ceiling dragging the mattresses up and not watching the height of the ceiling vs. height of mattress. (there's plenty of room). the list goes ON and ON...i'll save you the narration and just get right to the dirty, sucky details. they had a hard time getting my couch to fit through the front door. during their several attempts, the blankets the couch was wrapped in slipped off. they tossed them aside and proceeded to drag my leather couch across cement in their effort to get it inside. a big decorative mirror was broken (fortunately, it was from wal-mart and so not expensive, but still, it's the principle of the matter). multiple boxes were waterstained. most of the boxes looked like they'd been through three or four moves. mind you, pretty much all of my boxes came from the hospital or the surgical center that i worked at (thank you thank you my trisha friend) and so were in very good condition when i got them. they were all taped up very well. when i got them, they looked like they had been thrown around several times. i know that they were offloaded and reloaded at least once, because the truck they left Lubbock in and the truck they showed up to san antonio in were different. my two end tables were taken apart and thrown into a box and are not fixable. my washer and dryer are scratched. every box that i labeled "this side up"...well, that side was most definitely not up. grenadine syrup leaked all over one box, cough syrup all over another. the middle reinforcement leg under my bedroom dresser had small pieces of wood broken off at the supports so that it's integrity was compromised. they left a HUGE pile of tape and trash at the end of my walkway where they offloaded everything. they left water bottles all over the parking lot and even stuck in the bushes. then, they forgot to give me a reciept. after a day and a half of sorting through boxes, i realized that my BRAND NEW vacuum was missing. when i got ahold of the company on thursday to ask them about the forgotten reciept, i happened to ask about the vacuum. the OWNER OF THE COMPANY (i know he's the owner because i asked) told me, "oh yeah, it's here. we're gonna bring it back next tuesday when we're back in town with another shipment." HELLO!?!?!!?!! how's that for customer service? were they just going to show up here with my vacuum if i hadn't called and hope i was home? (the moving truck was nowhere near full, btw). they never called to say, "hey, by the way, you may have noticed that your vacuum is not there. we're sorry, we accidentally forgot to put it on the truck. we're back in town tuesday, so we'll drop it off then." HOW HARD CAN THAT BE???? so it has definitely been a series of most unfortunate events. note to all of yourselves...

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER USE EXPRESS RELOCATION, INC. (BASED IN HOUSTON) FOR ANY MOVE YOU MIGHT BE CONSIDERING. EVER. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

As my friend beth said..."U and Haul could have done this one way quicker and with much less heartache...and with friends who would have been much more careful with your stuff!" yes, sister...you ARE correct.

Tuesday night and wednesday night were spent unpacking boxes like a maniac, just trying to get the boxes out of my house and make room. See, all of the boxes were stacked four high and three deep against my stair wall, which also happened to be the wall that my TV would be on. i had to get the boxes out of the way because Time Warner came and set up my internet and cable thursday (which is why you're finally getting this ridiculous-long post). Bubba got here last night, and we got up this morning and started hanging pictures and trying to get rid of clutter. We're getting there, very slowly.

tomorrow, we'll put mom on a plane back to Amarillo and then it'll just be me and mark. We'll probably spend the rest of the weekend unpacking and arranging. Bubba will have to go back Sunday night and then it will finally just be me. don't get me wrong, i have absolutely been so grateful for their help and would probably be sitting on the floor cross-legged and rocking back and forth if not for them. but until i am here by myself, i don't think it will be real. say some prayers, huh? that's gonna be interesting.

orientation is monday and tuesday...get excited! back to the grindstone. side note...met my right side neighbor today. older man. bubba was taking bridget out and saw him sitting on his porch, so he introduced himself. old man comes over to meet me (who hasn't showered in two days and is wearing pajama pants and a hoodie so as to put off the wearing of certain other garments), and waltzes right into my house and plops down in a chair at my kitchen table!!! he told me that he does free computer repairs and that he's a coffee fiend, so any time i need a cappuccino, just knock on his door and he'll fix me up. he kind of creeped me out a little.

ok, gotta take myself to bed so i'll be willing to wake up at a decent hour. much love to all!

day 3...we have a DATE!!!

YAYA!!!! FINALLY got ahold of dispatch this morning. My stuff is in a warehouse and it is all in a truck now. Still don't know how much I'm going to owe them (they've still gotta weigh the truck since it had someone else's stuff on it before), but it's gonna be here TUESDAY MORNING!!! Right this second, that's about 36 hours away. i can do that.

otherwise, things are good. i got a craving for lobster bites from Long John Silver's. no problem right? so i type it in to my GPS. get to the location, and it's not LJS anymore. bummer. so i go south to hit the loop and head to Michelle's. problem. the entrance ramp was out, so i had to follow the access road and then get back on. type LJS into my GPS for a second time to get the closest location to michelle's. get to it, and guess what...it's not a LJS anymore, either. !! so i head for the third closest location on my GPS, praying that it's actually a LJS. SCORE! third time's the charm, i guess. and yes...they were worth it. now I'm at Michelle's washing the towels we got today at walmart to get us through until the moving truck gets here with the rest of my stuff. we got a queen-size air mattress so mom and i would not have to continue to stay in a hotel (since i have my linens with me) and we got two camp chairs for the living room. we put an empty ice chest between the two chairs for drinks and then turned a laundry basket upside down to function as an ottoman/footrest. pics to follow... ah, this will make for memories later.

my health screening is tomorrow at 11 AM...get to be poked and stuck and injected and God knows what else...hope i can find the place with relative ease.

well, off to the hospital with Michelle to go see the babies and take a present for them...this will serve the dual function of me actually getting to DRIVE to the hospital and get a feel for where to go.

much love!!

day 2 (written in the wee hours of day 3)

ah, the lengths we will go to in order to stay connected with the rest of the world...i am sure definitely sitting in my little kia in the parking lot of a hotel that i am NOT staying in so that i can filch their wifi long enough to update my blog. the internet at my house is not set up yet (hard to do since my network computer is sitting on a truck that only God knows where it is...more in a minute) and the hotel we are staying in does not have wireless, free or otherwise. i was going to go to michelle's and pirate off of theirs, but then she called me and said that this drunk lady hit her car and then drove off! (she's fine, car's perfectly driveable) and so she has to stay near the hospital, where the accident happened (she had just gotten done seeing the twins she delivered four weeks ago-surrogate pregnancy). thus my current situation. yes, go ahead, laugh...only me!

so...the hot topic of the moment...where's my stuff? answer...i dunno. I called the moving company friday around noon, and they said they didn't have the stuff yet...probably later on that day. (The company i originally contacted, Nationwide, only coordinates the move...they get all the pertinent info, etc., and then call a company that they contract with and pass that info on...Express Relocation, in this case...and Express is the company who gets the truck and the actual movers). So Nationwide is sort of a go-between for me and Express. So I call Nationwide back around 3 on Friday, and they say we're really sorry, still don't have any info, but we'll have customer service give you a holler this evening and update you. Bout 7 Friday night, I'm at dinner, having some fabulous cheese rolls and sushi, and I realize that I haven't gotten a call back yet. Bah. So I try both companies...both are closed for the day. Bah again. So we (me, mom, bubba) got a hotel (Bubba got here around 5) and decided to just chill for the night.

This morning (Saturday morning), I got up and called Nationwide, thinking that surely they would have some info by now. They tried to call Express, and didn't get an answer. They left a message and then got back on the phone with me, apologized, said they are usually really good about quickly returning phone calls, but would I like their number so that I could call them? absolutely. i'd love it. so i call the number (which I already had from the drama when I still hadn't heard from anyone about when my movers were gonna show up the day before they were supposed to be there), and i get the answering machine. wanna know why? because Express is CLOSED ON SATURDAY!!! what the heck?!?! they're open friday and SUNDAY, but closed saturday. great. so i leave them a not-so-patient message (no, Kristie, I didn't cuss at them...but i wanted to! guess i'll put my quarters in the mail...). then i get online to see if i can find any other numbers for this company. i find one, it ends up being a call center, they give me a different number than the one i have, but it just rings off the hook. bah. so then i decide, "well, i've still got the moving truck driver's phone number; i'll call him. y'all, I just counted...i called him NINE TIMES on my phone and left messages. he has yet to return my call. at around 2:15 this afternoon, Nationwide called me and said we're really sorry, we've tried calling them, and we think they're closed today...we recommend that you be on the phone with them first thing Monday morning. No worries...I'll be on the phone with them here in about eight hours when they open at 9:00 AM Sunday morning. i wouldn't be so antsy, but remember how the people whose stuff was supposed to be UNloaded before mine was LOADED stood the driver up? well, that means that not quite all my stuff fit INSIDE the truck, so it rode strapped to the ramp on the back of the truck...on the OUTSIDE... for nine hours to houston and has possibly (although i dearly HOPE they have more sense than this) been sitting out in the elements for the last 48 hours? yeah. we're talking my bedroom suite, my office desk, my kitchen table, my queen size mattress and box springs...it is only by the grace of God that I am not crawling out of my skin with anger and fear. thank you to my sweet friends who i know have been praying for my sanity and my stuff's safety...you bless me!

anyway, back to today. bubba and i left mom at the hotel (she was real tired and just wanted to read her book) and finally went to my apartment and unloaded what has been in my truck. again, by the grace of God, I have clean sheets, my comforter, my t-shirt quilt mom made me, shower curtain, cleaning stuff...basic necessities if, God forbid, my stuff doesn't get here for another several days. so we unloaded and put all of that away and then went to wal-mart for a bathroom *PAUSE*

i've had my ipod on listening to it as i type, and I've just kind of been halfway. it was almost as if God just tuned me in to the beginning of the song that just began to play...

"what a friend we have in Jesus
all our sins and griefs to bear
what a privilege to carry
EVERYTHING to God in prayer

oh what peace we often forfeit
oh what needless pain we bear
all because we do not carry
EVERYTHING to God in prayer

HAVE WE TRIALS and temptations?
IS THERE TROUBLE ANYWHERE?
WE SHOULD NEVER BE DISCOURAGED...
take it to the Lord in prayer!

can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness
take it to the Lord in prayer

Jesus knows my every weakness...
take it to the Lord in prayer!"

thank you, Jesus...i needed that. in the midst of my craziness and confusion, continually remind me to stop and be still...

anyway, bubba and i went to walmart for a small cabinet to put in my bathroom (a little extra storage space) and some other randomness that i needed. we spent several hours at my new place between unloading the truck, walmart, and then back to the house to set up our purchases (along with the bathroom cabinet, we got two camp chairs for the living room and a queen-size air mattress in case my stuff really DOES take several more days and a corner storage rack for my shower that i'm gonna have to return...it doesn't fit...i hate rturning stuff to walmart; can i get an amen?). then we went and picked mom up for dinner...Pappasito's, mmm. Got the seafood enchiladas. it was ok, but the sauce was a little sweet and the scallops were a little overpowering. Took mom to the apartment for the first time after dinner, and then we stopped by the cheesecake factory on the way back to the hotel...YES, LORD! I got a slice of blueberry white chocolate cheesecake...mmm. just mmmm. then me, mom, and mark sat on one of the hotel beds and played phase 10 and i SO WON by the skin of my teeth! it was such fun...we laughed and laughed.

ok, friends, this is way too long...i gotta get to bed so that i'll be halfway willing to emerge from my covers in the morning to call Express back. pray that Satan doesn't temporarily inhabit my body and take control of my attitude. and pray that maybe i'll finally get SOME kind of information about the whereabouts of my stuff and when i'll get it...

love you all...i'm holding on to 1 thessalonians 5:24--"the One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it." whatever the IT is in your life right now...remember, you're never out of His hand. He's hanging on to you and He's got a plan. the t-shirt is true...LIFE IS GOOD!

~amy :)

day 1

well, we finally got to San Antonio early this morning...i crossed the San Antonio city limit sign at 1:52 AM. got to Michelle's at about 2:15, was in bed by 3. woke up this morning at 11...good sleep. I called the moving company earlier this morning, but they didn't have the weight estimate and delivery time for me just yet. i'm betting the driver didn't get to bed until well after i did (they had to go back to houston, remember), so he'll probably fax the paperwork to the moving company after he wakes up. As it's already almost 2:00 PM and it takes 3-5 hours to get from Houston to here with a moving truck, my money's on them not getting here and unloading until tomorrow. that's ok. i can get into my new place, put a roll of tp on the roll, and get oriented. go to walmart...all that good stuff. actually, i guess i'll be going to HEB...the grocery stores down here. gotta check that business out.

so for those who are wondering...yes, it finally hit me. In a bathroom stall in a truck stop in Junction, TX. of all places...whatever. everything i have known for months in my head finally got across to my heart. now, before you go saying "we told you so"...yes, you did. but you didn't have to. i knew it was coming; i just didn't know when. i won't lie...my heart was a little overwhelmed that all of the incredible people i know and love are now at least six hours away. that i have to make new friends...that after so much time, it's finally here and this is really happening and not somethiing abstract any more. that i really am starting a new job...bottom of the totem pole...don't know anyone...don't know anything...that i may have to humble myself and be okay with asking for help and give up my independent streak for a little while.

but then i'm reminded...the God of the universe...the one who is head over heels in love with me...the one who sacrificed everything...EVERYTHING so that I could be His...He is here. i saw a quote recently that speaks such hope and peace into my heart...

"When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step out into the darkness, Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: there will be something to stand on or you will be taught how to fly." -unknown

So pray with me...pray that my heart is open to new experiences and new people. that on the days and nights that i am hurting and lonely that i remember that my Redeemer lives...that He holds me in the palm of His hand...that i am HIS and he knows what is going on...that His head is not in His hands when things go awry. Pray that i trust Him for my strength and that I will lean wholeheartedly into His most Everlasting Arms.

Off to the new place for the first time here in a bit...will let you know how it goes!

moving day

i am sitting on the floor in my house to blog this. as i type, the movers are covering my furniture with blankets and very quickly and efficiently packing my life into a fraction of the square footage that i've had it spread out in. i'm just grateful to not have to be doing it. they're packing everything into the moving van (in front of someone else's stuff...it was supposed to be dropped off before they came here, but the people who own it had somewhere more important to be today. they stood the movers up after a nine hour drive. i don't know about y'all, but i can't think of many things more important than being at a predetermined place when my stuff shows up. whatever.

after the movers finish packing my stuff in the truck, they are driving straight back to Houston to drop off one of the movers and to get some sleep. then, tomorrow, they will drive from houston to san antonio and bring me my stuff. we hope. the guy in charge said they have to give me a time range just in case something disastrous happens (please Jesus, put your hand on this truck, and that's for reals there), but they should have my stuff to me tomorrow. again, all sorts of prayer would be greatly appreciated!

at this point, i'm just glad they're here...i called the company yesterday because they had told me i'd hear from the movers a few days in advance to set up a time for them to be at my house. after much confusion and wrong information, i was told they'd be here between noon and two o'clock today, because they were coming from houston. lovely. so i got myself all in a bother instead of trusting God that if his hand has been in this from the beginning, it will be in the moving part, too. so they're here and all is good and i can't believe that this is my last day in a town that i've spent almost the last seven years living in.

so at this point, the plan for me and mom is that we will drive to San Antonio tonight and stay with my friend Michelle and then go to my new place tomorrow and start getting stuff in the fridge, figuring out where everything is going to go, etc. then hopefully the movers will be there tomorrow afternoon. God, give me patience...i am having a really hard time letting go and trusting someone else with my stuff. maybe i should downsize? :)

so that's all for the moment...more updates later. maybe even tonight when we get to san antonio!! hopefully it'll only take the movers another hour or so and we'll be on the road in another hour and a half. hopefully...

much love to all my lubbockites! i love you and i'm gonna miss you heaps!!! to all my future...what do you call people who live in san antonio?...well, to all my future whatever-you-call-yous...i can't wait to get to know you!

T minus 10 days...

...until my life is completely changed. this chapter is almost finished and, in fact, God has already begun writing the next one. Pray for me, friends...for courage, to be outgoing and friendly...and that I will lean into the MOST everlasting Arms on the days surely to come when I will be afraid, sad, missing my friends and family, missing my unit...missing everything familiar. A lot of people haven't heard the whole story, beginning to end, so I thought I would repost an email I sent to a friend who was wondering how it all came about. Maybe it's not right to say it was "God's will" that I move to San Antonio, but as you read, I hope you can sense (as I have on many occasions) that God's hand has definitely been in this from before the beginning and believe along with me that I am pretty sure I have His blessing.

the San Antonio story

I started thinking about my next steps in my career about a year ago...I was at Lubbock Christian working on my bachelor's degree in nursing. most of my college friends were married and/or had moved away from Lubbock, and I chose to continue renting when I graduated from nursing school, not knowing what the next few years held. Around May 2008, I started tossing around the idea of moving to a bigger city. Dallas was out; it's TOO big. Houston? Too big, too close to hurricanes. I didn't want to be on the verge of evacuation for six months out of the year. San Antonio? hmm. Warm...hills...trees...gorgeous...So I toyed with the idea and did a little research.

I knew that if I moved, I wanted to work in a Christus Health System affiliated hospital. They are a system that I've heard great things about and seen great things from. They took incredible care of my Grandaddy before he died. Also, as part of a rural health trip to New Mexico for a class I took toward my bachelor's degree, we spoke to the CEO of a hospital that had recently merged with the Christus system. He went on and on about how wonderful they had been to him and to his staff and employees and how smoothly the merge had gone (you have to know...hospital mergers are usually about as peaceable as a meeting between God and Satan!). So I got online last spring and figured out that San Antonio was, indeed, home to a Christus hospital...Christus Santa Rosa, located downtown. I put the idea to the back of my head, because I had a VERY busy summer ahead of me.

Toward the end of the summer, a flyer for a pediatric conference appeared in the nurses' lounge at work. I picked it up and saw that one of the sessions was about brain cooling for a condition called HIE (hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy)...basically, it happens when, in an otherwise healthy, close to full-term pregnancy, something happens that suddenly deprives the baby of oxygen...the placenta breaks away from the uterine wall, the uterus ruptures, the umbilical cord slips down into the vaginal canal and the pressure from the baby's head prevents the flow of oxygen, etc. Anyway, lots of research has been done in the last several years and experts are finding that if we cool these babies down to 92 degrees fahrenheit for 72 hours, it seems to help prevent the death of so many brain cells from lack of oxygen and thus these kids have less (or less severe) long term complications (cerebral palsy, etc.). the hospital I am currently at has not implemented that procedure yet, but I had heard about it and was really curious about the ins and outs of it and how well it's working. Well...after I get all pumped up about going to this conference because of that, I flip over the flyer to find out where the conference is. Yup, you guessed it. San Antonio. And guess who the sponsoring hospital was for the conference? Right again. Christus Santa Rosa. Well, I have always prayed that God make things really obvious for me, because I'm not real smart...

So I booked the hotel and the flight. The brain cooling for HIE session was first. The doctor who led the discussion was a physician who works in the Christus NICU (along with several other area NICUs). At one point, he asked one of the girls I had been talking to beforehand a question about a policy, and I decided to see if I could sit with her at lunch, since she obviously worked in a hospital with this procedure in place. So when the session was over, I followed her back to her table. Shocker...she's one of the two nurse educators for the Santa Rosa NICU. I had followed her back to a table full of NICU nurses who worked in the unit I wanted to be in.

I sat next to a girl named Michelle...little chick with hair dyed so platinum it looked steel-gray, who has been a nurse for close to 10 years. She blew me away...everyone talks about their baby days in nursing when they were so excited about everything, and how it gradually dies off for everyone. Not so for my girl Michelle. Here she was almost 10 years in and still gets excited about procedures, transports...and LEARNING! The girl wants to know everything, just like me. She talked about how there's several nurses in the unit she works in that still love their jobs even after many years of nursing...who still want to learn...who don't show up just for a paycheck. So I was totally in heaven for the rest of lunch. The two of us talked nonstop about the difference in practices in our two units, etc. It was so great! I told Michelle that we were supposed to get a tour of her hospital, including the NICU, that night. She told me to get a good look around and tell her what I thought that day.

A shuttle took us up to the hospital later for our tour. We were split into groups, and then I found out that the chick who was supposed to tour the group that I was in had never even BEEN to the NICU...she was a pediatrics nurse who had never had reason to step foot in there. Dammit! So she told us we would walk through and the nurse manager had agreed to tell us a little about the place. Well, we walked through and it was a really neat place, but the nurse manager didn't go into a lot of detail or tell me anything Michelle hadn't already. Oh well.

So the next morning, Michelle asks how it went, and when I tell her, she's like, "bummer!". We talked some more during the opening session and then went our separate ways before lunch. During lunch, I sat with her group again, and we talked some more. Then she asked if I was catching a plane back to Lubbock right after the conference was over. I told her no; I was going to spend a few days with a friend who would be picking me up when the conference was over. "Well," she says, "I have to leave a little early because my daughter has a choir concert, but it will be done by the time the conference is over. What if I swung back by here and picked you up and took you up to my unit, and I can give you a better tour than you got last night?" I was floored. She barely knew me and here she's offering to take me up there like we're best friends or something (might I add she had started hinting the first day of conference that I should come down and work with her!). I told her I'd love to. So she picks me up and gives me like a 45 minute tour! Then she takes me back to the hotel and tells me to keep in touch.

When I got back to Lubbock, I started to do some serious praying and soul-searching. Was this what God had for me next? A million what-ifs where whirling through my head (they still are, actually)...what about making new friends? finding a church? not knowing ANYONE? how will my body handle flipping back to nights (because I don't mind working nights, but it's a whole lot easier to schedule stuff when you're working days)? I love the unit I've worked in for the last two and a half years...I started there while I was still in nursing school. The people there have raised me up in this profession so far, and it's going to be really hard for me to "cut the apron strings" with my "mamas", so to speak. I have so many great memories from there, and have built some great friendships.

At the same time...this new thing is an incredible opportunity, and I think I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't jump into the unknown with only the Father to cling to. There's a Mark Schultz song that speaks my heart perfectly. It's called "When the Mountains Fall"...it's talking more about how when your life is falling down around you, you have to have the courage to jump and trust that the Father will take care of you, but i think it's appropriate in this situation too... "...you step out in faith/it's all that you know/you jump into darkness/and hold onto hope//when the mountains fall/when the rivers rise/security crumbles before your eyes/one thing you know/in faith you'll find/something to stand on/or you will be taught to fly.."

'Round the middle of February, I decided it would be smart to get moving on this thing. I did a little more research on the town, and I had been talking since November to Michelle, learning more about the unit I might be going to...etc. I figured it would be good to go down and meet the nurse manager, introduce myself and all, and maybe get one more tour of the unit. Then I decided that was crazy...if I'm gonna be driving 400 miles, I might as well go ahead and interview! I started the online application and then, on Monday, March 2, I called up the unit to see if I could meet the nurse manager and set up an interview time. The manager told me I actually needed to talk to the director, but that she was in meetings all week. However, the manager didn't think the meetings would last all day, so she promised to give her my name and number and told me to go ahead and finish the application so that HR would have a few days to get it rolled over to Catherine (the director) so that she'd be able to review it. No problem.

So I call up Michelle and tell her the plan (since I was going to be staying with her) and she offered to toss out my name and some props to Catherine. Sweet, I say. So Michelle calls me up a day or two later and tells me that I have an interview on Friday at 1:00. I started reviewing interview questions like mad in anticipation. I wasn't sure if the interview would be just with Catherine or if it would be a peer interview, but I wanted to be ready to answer whatever. I had also been praying that, when I did have an interview, I would be able to convey my excitement and my desire to learn and just be able to show this lady that I would be a valuable asset to her team because of my willingness and excitement and desire to learn (and my all around fabulousness...just kidding! :) ). See, since I'm only two years in, I'm just barely considered competent and am probably still considered a "baby" nurse...just getting my feet wet. So it's harder to convince people to pick me, since I don't have so much experience.

So I walk into this interview and it's just Catherine and a student nurse who is following her as part of an internship. Little intimidated, but I've got a smile on my face. So she starts out by introducing herself and then says, "I'm really sorry, but your application still hasn't rolled over to me from HR, so I know NOTHING about you...could you kind of tell me about yourself?" !!!! Total answer to prayers...without having seen my application, she didn't even know how long I'd been a nurse...what kind of experience I did or did not have...she was a blank slate! Thank you Jesus! So i got to tell her about me, about what I've done, what I want to do, what my future plans are...totally let my personality shine through. THe interview only lasted 10 or 15 minutes, very informal...once I was done telling her about me, she told me some about the unit, walked me around and gave me a tour, and then...

"Well, just so you know, I can't make you an offer, but how about if we call HR and see if any of them are still there, since it's Friday after lunch? Would you have time to talk to one of them?"

!!!!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!! DO I HAVE TIME? Um...YES! So we called HR and there were, indeed, some people there, so Michelle walked me down and then told me she'd meet me in her van when I was done. HR made me an incredible offer, went over benefits, told me about the sign-on and relocation packages (I thought I'd have to ask for relocation, but she said it before I could say anything) so I'm gonna guess that, since God has flung open the doors at every juncture...this is probably my next step, and with His blessing!

Things have been going in a whirlwind since then...my boss was really good about it, and there have been some people that have said some discouraging things, but you'll get that anywhere and really, I think it was more that they're sad to see me go and just concerned for me like a mama is for her kid. I've got movers and I've got a date...May 28th. There's still a lot that I don't know and I'm definitely taking a step of faith, but I'm interested to see what happens over the next year or so. I wonder what God has for me there.

a week in my life...

do you know what a beautiful thing it is to watch a mother as she meets her child for the first time? i do. Caleb was born at 28 weeks...12 weeks too early. a tiny, fragile, wrinkly thing...so little that for the first few days of his life, his mother could only look at him and lay her hand on his back, trying desperately to transmit what little strength she had to him. but on the third day...ah. Caleb's mom came down to see him in the morning, still very groggy from the drugs she had received to keep her alive and keep Caleb safe. Caleb was doing very well...we had just taken out his breathing tube and he was requiring only a little extra oxygen; no small feat for one weighing in at barely over two pounds. I told his mom that if he was still doing well and she was feeling better that afternoon, she could hold him. Her eyes shone. She stayed a few minutes longer, and then went back to her room.

She was back several hours later. It was near the end of the shift, I was getting ready for a new admission, and I had a patient due to eat in 30 minutes. But I had promised, and Caleb had done well, and mama had come down all by herself, looking like a new person. Another nurse took over preparing my admission bed, and I went to Caleb's room and shut the door so his mother could hold him kangaroo-style...bare skin to bare skin. I turned on an oxygen mask and put it in place near where Caleb would lay. I procured a few pillows and tucked them under his mama's arms so they wouldn't get tired and then helped her out of her t-shirt and covered her with a hospital gown. Mama ready, I turned to Caleb. I arranged all of his various lines and then gathered his little self in my hands. I directed mom to open her gown so I could place him on her chest, his head resting in the hollow of her neck. I repositioned her gown and made sure she was comfortable and that Caleb was secure. I asked her if she needed anything, and she whispered, voice breaking, "No, we're just fine." I turned to see her hand on his head, his vital signs better than they had been all day...and one single tear tracking down her check. She cried as she traced his tiny body with her hands, stroked the dark fuzz of downy hair on his head, felt the silky smoothness of his baby skin on hers. A match made in heaven...pure, unadultered love straight from the Father of Life. Beautiful.

have you ever heard the anguished cry of a mother as she searches for the strength and courage to let her miracle go Home? i have. Kate was born at 24 weeks. her parents already had two children, but were overjoyed with their "surprise." When she was nine days old, we took her to a special room in our unit for surgery. her x-rays showed some disturbing images that needed to be investigated. at one point, the doctor reached in to gently move Kate's liver out of the way, and it ruptured. after an hour and a half of everything medicine can offer to such a tiny life, Kate was stabilized enough to allow her grief-stricken parents at her bedside to hold her. i took the pictures...pictures of their hands joined over her little body...pictures of impossibly small feet and hands with her mommy and daddy's wedding rings around them...pictures of her bright, wide open eyes, looking far older and wiser than any baby's should...and then we left the family to themselves, allowing them time to love her. After an hour or so in the arms of her parents, the Father of Life came to take Kate Home to live forever.

have you ever seen the face of a woman whose womb is barren...whose arms have been empty for eight long, long years...who has lost two lives before they ever took a breath...have you ever seen the face of that woman when five pounds and fourteen ounces of beautiful baby girl are placed in her arms for the first time? have you seen the stars in her eyes when you call her "Mommy"? Grace's birth mother was in no way able to take care of her child, so she contacted a couple who had tried for eight years to have children and offered them practically the most selfless gift anyone can give. i watched them as they held her for hours on end, staring at her dark eyelashes...their eyes brimming with tears at the gift of Life...beautiful.