trust

I have wanted to write so many times, but had no idea where to begin. God is elbow deep in my heart and my life, teaching me slowly to trust Him. I am so thankful for One who does not throw up His hands in frustration when I don't get it right the first (or 342nd) time. His mercies are new every morning; every moment...GREAT is His faithfulness in this girl's whirling dervish of a life.

I have always been bad about tithing...knew I should, but I had a hard time consistently making it my top priority. At the beginning of 2011, I made an unofficial resolution/covenant to give my tithe with every paycheck that year. God says in Malachi to test Him and see if he doesn't throw open the floodgates of blessings. my human mind wanted to see if He'd prove it. This "experiment" would also be a way to walk in deliberate, palpable obedience to my Father.

guess what?

It worked. (I know, shocker).

No, I didn't win the lottery. $100 bills did not rain from the sky. But I had enough. Be it a car crisis that my emergency fund covered or a random bonus check that came at just the right time...He was faithful. every time.

It's the middle of January 2012 now, and life has thrown me a pretty tough curve ball in the last few months. I've tripped, gotten dirt in my scrapes, and I'm still working on giving my anger to Him. But God, in His infinite wisdom, has spent the last 13 months teaching me what trust is. I hear about it everywhere. I read about it. Today's sermon was about it. And slowly, ever so painfully slowly, I am learning to share my control freakiness with the One who created it all.