runnin' fools

Who likes to run? You? Oh good...that makes one of us. Who knows you should stretch before you run? You do? Awesome; that makes two of us. Guess who had a stupid moment this morning? Gosh, you're smart. *I* did. My calves will not be my friends when I wake up later today.

I hate running. Do not like it at all. Do not like huffing and puffing like a 4 pack a day smoker, do not like my hair frizzing itself into oblivion. I do not like it, Sam I am. I'd rather have green eggs and ham. I'm really not going to like it as I start to run more than 60 seconds at a time.

I've heard of these nutters who enjoy running. They talk about "runner's high"...evidently it hits around mile 18? I'm sorry...I would not be high at that point. I'd be dead! These fools buy Nike, Adidas, and New Balance like other folks buy Versace, Prada, and (insert your fave brand here). They run more miles per day than I DRIVE. They run in rain, snow, fog, blistering heat, hurricanes...they never miss a day, no matter what. Their feet and legs look awful if you get up close. But have you seen the rest of their bodies? These people may seem nuts to the rest of us, but they look GOOD, y'all. And to hear them talk, they FEEL good. After a while, they crave their time on whatever surface they choose to discipline themselves with.

I admire them. I want to be like them one day.

I know another type of nut too. These people LOVE their Jesus. They run to Him with every hurt, every joy, every everything. He and His word are their passion. They do everything they can to like him. Have you seen their fb statuses? They're spending their own money to go to other countries and love on their fellow human brothers and sisters. They're even adopting abandoned children...doing for the least of these what Jesus did for all of us.

They are in the Word every day. Doesn't matter if they're busy or tired or overbooked. They MAKE time to spend with the Father because spiritual well-being is integral to a healthy, balanced life. And slowly, over time, they begin to see a change: not in their bodies, necessarily, but in their HEARTS. Their vision changes. They become fools for Christ; seeking only Him and His desires. They are euphoric as they discipline their hearts to follow Him. They have hurts and bruises too, but have you seen their hearts? They look GOOD, y'all. And to hear them tell it, they FEEL good, too. They crave their time with the Father.

I so admire them. I want to follow Christ like they do.

I switched from regular to diet soda at the beginning of the year. I went off diet 5 days ago. I can tell already that I'm not as tired. I've been trying to walk/run(ish) a couple times a week at least. I want to be healthier just for me.

I'm reading through the bible this year, a little every day. I want to look deeper into spiritual disciplines. I want to be ravished by the Lover of my soul.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." 1 Corinthians 9:24, 25

Thanks for the comparison, Paul.

hope.

so I was driving home this morning, and this song popped up on my iPod. you know how when you've listened to a song a thousand times and know it so well that you space out and start thinking other things, but can still pick up and sing along with the lyrics at any point? that was me this morning. I had to restart the song TWICE to refocus an listen all the way through. and the God Who speaks through anything (and usually weird things) began to whisper to my heart...

Our Hope Endures

Natalie Grant

"You would think

only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume

this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here

He never promised me it would be easy. but He DID promise to never, ever leave me and to never give me more than I could bear, especially with His help. His strength is perfect in the absence of mine. "But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction." (Job 36:15)

Oh, but sometimes the sun

stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky

rains night after night
When will it clear?

Psalm 30:5 promises that weeping and sadness may stay for the night, but JOY comes in the morning! Even in the worst times, we find joy and peace that pass all understanding.

But our Hope endures

the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged..."

what beautiful words, and what comfort they bring! hope is so much more that just being happy all the time. I can attest to this as an incurable, unfailingly optimistic optimist. there are days when i may not smile the whole way through, but there is a Gentleness in my spirit, reminding me of Whose I am and the promises He holds for my heart and my life.

trust

I have wanted to write so many times, but had no idea where to begin. God is elbow deep in my heart and my life, teaching me slowly to trust Him. I am so thankful for One who does not throw up His hands in frustration when I don't get it right the first (or 342nd) time. His mercies are new every morning; every moment...GREAT is His faithfulness in this girl's whirling dervish of a life.

I have always been bad about tithing...knew I should, but I had a hard time consistently making it my top priority. At the beginning of 2011, I made an unofficial resolution/covenant to give my tithe with every paycheck that year. God says in Malachi to test Him and see if he doesn't throw open the floodgates of blessings. my human mind wanted to see if He'd prove it. This "experiment" would also be a way to walk in deliberate, palpable obedience to my Father.

guess what?

It worked. (I know, shocker).

No, I didn't win the lottery. $100 bills did not rain from the sky. But I had enough. Be it a car crisis that my emergency fund covered or a random bonus check that came at just the right time...He was faithful. every time.

It's the middle of January 2012 now, and life has thrown me a pretty tough curve ball in the last few months. I've tripped, gotten dirt in my scrapes, and I'm still working on giving my anger to Him. But God, in His infinite wisdom, has spent the last 13 months teaching me what trust is. I hear about it everywhere. I read about it. Today's sermon was about it. And slowly, ever so painfully slowly, I am learning to share my control freakiness with the One who created it all.

skittles

I love skittles...they're sort of an ADD candy. they come from the same bag, but have different flavors, colors, and sometimes are even shaped a little different. my mind feels like a bag of skittles lots of times...all of my thoughts are coming from the same place, but a plethora of different subjects and situations. such is my mind today, so here is the bag of skittles that is my head...

I am just over halfway through Dave Ramsey's FPU class. love it. have learned so much. I am the epitome of free spirit, but I have found such peace with a budget and cash envelopes. if you haven't taken the class, I'm telling you...RUN like Flo Jo to the nearest place you can find that offers it. the class is free; you only pay for materials. it will change your life.

recently started rereading Harry Potter...they never get old. JKR is a literary genius!

last I checked, Miss Harper is doing well! she came home after heart surgery still requiring her feeding tube, but has since graduated to being able to drink all of her bottles ALL by herself. yaaaaaaaaay!! she is now settling into normal life with mama and daddy and big brothers Eli and Landon. pray for continued protection from illness and that she will continue to grow big!

I went on a delivery recently for a 23 week baby. we tried our best, but the little guy was too tiny to make it. I let the labor nurse know on my way out that I'd be more than happy to come back and do handprints and footprints. she called me 30-45 minutes later. as I had the father lift his tiny son so I could ink his little hands, I marveled again at the privilege I have to be a part of the lives of the families I interact with. I never have to wonder if I'm going to be the hands and feet of Christ...opportunities abound! most people have never seen a baby as small as this one, and it's incredible how complete they are. they have fully formed arms, legs, fingers, toes...many times, you can even tell who they take after. my little guy looked just like his dad, and I don't know whose nose he had, but it was definitely distinctive. what an honor to show compassion even as I dressed him in a little gown covered with rocket ships and tucked him into the basket he was lying in on his mom's bed. I know it sounds cheesy, but I love that I love my job!

Miguel

the dude pictured above is my dad, for those who have not had the pleasure of meeting him.

he's a nut. he has never met a stranger. he will talk to you until YOU are blue in the face. he is one of the friendliest people I know, but God HELP you if you get crossways with his family. he will give you the shirt off his back and the last ten bucks in his wallet.

I am just like him, and I couldn't be prouder. and if I marry half the man he is, I will be blessed beyond measure.

keep praying, keep praising!

Harper: Day 2 (6/14)

sweet girl was pretty heavily sedated after surgery and all night. however, they started weaning and allowing her to wake up this morning. guess what? when she woke up enough, her breathing tube was removed! that's awesome! she is still on a nasal cannula to blow a little air in and help keep things stimulated/inflated, but that's a GREAT BIG step!

Harper is also currently in heart block...that means her heart hasn't quite woken up from the shock of surgery (normal and expected), so she has the help of a temporary pacemaker right now. the doctors will give her heart up to a week to get its act together before they decide to place a permanent pacemaker that she will have for the rest of her life. while mommy and daddy don't necessarily WANT that, if that's the only thing they have to deal with, they'll take it!

Harper has also had some of her IVs removed, medications discontinued, and the girl is EATING, people! EATING, a day after heart surgery! and according to her daddy, she is breathing AND eating much better than before her surgery...this is fantastic news! right now, she's eating an ounce every three hours, and they will continue to advance that slowly until she is on "full feeds"...meaning she gets all of her nutrition from mama's milk and the IV fluids can be turned off completely.

Harper: Day 3 (6/15)

i didn't hear much today, except that Miss Harper's heart has kicked it into high gear and is working on its own! hallelujah, no pacemaker for this girl!

please continue praying for a good, speedy recovery. Harper will have another echocardiogram (heart sonogram) over the next few days to make sure the patches that were placed are not leaking at all (or maybe leaking just a tiny bit). so pray that Dr. Harrell's stitches are holding better than your grandma's quilt stitches ever thought about holding together!

here i raise my ebenezer...

i love this verse from the old hymn...it comes from a verse in 1 Samuel. The Israelites were being attacked by the Philistines, and God threw the Philistines into a tizzy, and they all ran in every direction BUT toward the Israelites. The Israelites chased after them and slaughtered them. In response to the victory, Samuel set up a sort of altar to praise God and mark the occasion...he called the stone "Ebenezer", which means "thus far has the Lord helped us."

in similar fashion, we are raising our Ebenezer stone in victory today...she made it! praise God, Miss Harper made it through surgery! see mama Amy's blog here. i got text updates throughout the day. Harper was taken back to the OR around 7:30 yesterday morning, and her day proceeded as follows:

1036: Harper went on the heart/lung machine about 10. Her heart will be stopped for about an hour. Surgery is going well so far.

1215: The repair was a little more complicated than they expected. There was another hole that had to be patched as well, but both have been patched and now they'll warm her up and restart her heart. (my aside...the heart ORs are kept very cold...i'm talking like 40 or 50 degrees fahrenheit. Aids with decrease in infection and body metabolism rates.)

I asked when I woke up this afternoon if sweet girl was settled in the PICU yet:

1441: I think so. Dr. Harrell said it was one of the most difficult repairs he's ever done. Her heart was much more deformed that they could see on the echo. So it took a lot longer than expected.

I also asked if she was still considered "fixed", and i got a big smile: Yes! All fixed :)

1755: She's doing well...considering. (i tried to upload a picture here, but blogger shut me down both times...)

1816: Sorry for such a long delay. Harper is in ICU and doing well. She may go off the ventilator as early as tonight. We are so relieved and thankful that she has done so well!

I asked how mommy and daddy are doing, and Amy said they are well...mostly just relieved, thankful, and at peace.

Please keep praying for Miss Harper. The second and third days after surgery are usually harder, as your body starts to wake up more and the AK-47 caliber of pain meds from surgery start to wear off. Harper will be kept on continuous pain and sedation drips for now to help, and she will also have medicine ordered for breakthrough pain. Continue to pray for healing to her body and that she stays free of infection. Continue to pray for guidance for the doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists caring for her. Pray for true rest for Amy and Dustin, and that they would continually be renewed and strengthened by the Father.

will post more later...continue to pray that His name is glorified in every way possible!