"one thing you know, in faith you find...something to stand on or you will be taught to FLY..."

so this whole experience has been a leap of faith, and i'm not sure if i'm flying or if God's given me something to stand on yet...but i definitely know His hand is here.

Sunday was my first full day in the unit. rolled out of bed around 5 and was on the road by about 5:45. got to the unit a little early (i know, all of my Lubbock people are shocked) and found my place. had one of the same kids i had on friday plus two cardiac babies. my preceptor's name was Cat...and she was hilarious. great about teaching (and picking on me) and gave me the twin that we had to take care of for the day. i did all care (with a little help) and all of the charting (with a lot of help!). got nicknamed "sparky" by one of the transport nurses, because i told her i want to eventually be able to do everything in the unit (ECMO, take care of head cooling babies, transports, and cardiac--only certain nurses take care of cardiac babies) and that i love to be involved and get really excited about stuff. first feeding went off without a hitch. got baby changed and assessed and such, and cat gave me a crash course in incubators. one of the really cool things is that if you have to open the doors or take down the side, there's a button you can push and it creates a "heat wall" between baby and the outside of the incubator to help prevent the cold air from getting in. kind of like that wall of air you meet with at the grocery store to keep the bugs out. *thanks for the analogy, beth! :)* in addition to the servo temp (set temp for non NICU people) and the baby's temp, the environment temperature is also displayed. got little one's feeding started (it's all over a pump here...usually 30 min to an hour) and then went to the computer. got as much done as i could without help, and then cat came over. "did you do your abdominal girth?" nope...didn't know i was supposed to. how often do we do it? "every shift." sure, got it. will do it at noon. we looked at the assessment, meds (the MAR is also computerized...no sheet to print out, and we don't doublecheck routine meds...still the narcs and serious stuff though), feeding assessment...it was really amazing. nice to be able to go back and edit if i needed to, but definitely slower than just whipping out my pen and writing it down, although some nurses will write things down throughout the day and then put everything in at the end of the shift.

the rest of the day went pretty well...i spent my time exploring the chart (which is much smaller because a lot of the charting is online) and playing with the computer system. the nurse who dubbed me sparky came to me about 10:30 and asked if i wanted to go on a c-section...of course! then she stood up for me when the nurse practitioner stated that they already had plenty and i would probably be in the way. "it's okay, she's not going to do anything, she's just gonna watch." mostly the same setup for deliveries, except the warmer in L&D stays there if baby has to come back to us. we have a couple of carts with an isolette and a transport bag set aside just for deliveries, and baby comes back in those.

now...for the things that are a little different...for starters, pretty much all babies in the unit feed every three hours. blood pressures are with every feed (on every baby) and we do abdominal girths every shift. the incubator was not as big a deal as i thought it would be. i could do pretty much everything i needed to with just the windows open, but i did have to take the whole side down to turn baby prone. another big difference is the developmental aids...they use something called a Z-Flo here. it's like a whole mattress that's a semi-solid material that can be formed any way you want and it will stay that way. you just squish it around with your fingers and form it the way you need it to be, and it has two straps (kind of like the snugglies) that you can sort of hold baby in with. i get the feeling that the nurses don't like them so much...they think they're a pain. also, they are trialing something called Prolacta with some of their babies...it's like HMF, only liquid, and i think it's got protein in it that HMF doesn't or something. so you have to thaw the stuff out (they have a milk thawer...that's cool) and then you add a certain amount of breast milk (10 cc prolacta+40cc breast milk). there's four different concentrations depending on what you want your final caloric intake to be. we also use donor breast milk that comes from the milk bank in austin. it has a lot number and expiration on it and has been pasteurized. when you take one out, you just have to log the lot # and expiration on a log kept on the baby's clipboard. very interesting.

so the day was relatively uneventful...i learned a lot and it was a good day. i'll be out of the unit for a week because i have new nursing orientation on tuesday/wed/thurs and then i'm off the weekend because friends are coming in and i'm going to SEA WORLD ON FRIDAY!!! cool!!! i haven't been since i was like 8 or something. can't wait!

on a different note...i emailed my narrative of my whole moving experience and photos to my original contact at Nationwide today, and I should have my claims stuff in the mail by the end of the week. for your viewing pleasure, i will be posting the letter and photos on here...get excited! hopefully i will actually get something out of this for all the work i've put into it...

okay, gotta go to bed so i'm not falling asleep tomorrow. much love to all!

another first day!

4:50 AM: Addison Road's "Hope Now" blasts out of my phone. time to wake up...

5:00 AM: crawling into the shower...more music blasting from the iPhone to help me wake up.

5:46 AM: heading out the door on my way to work. the drive is usually about 25-30 minutes depending on traffic, but it's nice to have a little time to listen to music or sing or pray or whatever. if it weren't so early in the morning, i might call a friend and have a catch-up conversation. :)

6:11 AM: I pull into the parking garage a little ahead of schedule. I get my stuff all together, and then here we go...

I was pulled back to junior high when i walked into the area where staff lockers and the lounge are. every locker has a combination lock on it...something i haven't used since high school! i bent down to stick my stuff in, praying that i would remember how to use them and not have to ask someone...and i did it! it was kind of awkward in the lounge...nobody really said anything to me, but i could tell they were all curious as to who i was. i found out where the assignments are posted. call me a dork or call it significant, but when i found myy assignment, my heart warmed a little...beds 21 and 22. 21 is my lucky number...maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was God giving me a little push and saying, "hey, get out there and be yourself...you're going to be fine!"

my nurse was running a little late (i found out later that her kid started getting sick at 5:30 this morning) so the transport nurse got report for her. we were taking care of a set of twins born at 25ish weeks, now 31ish weeks. the incubators were the biggest noticeable difference. the monitors and IV pumps are also different, and of course, the computer charting. they still do paper I&O's and the orders are written on paper, but all of the assessments and the MAR on on the computer. i had a class today to learn about all of that, and it makes sense so far.

since i wasn't even in the unit the whole day, i mostly just observed the nurses and oriented myself to my new environment. i left around 11:15 to get to my class (in a different hospital across town). the nurses were great once we got through report and into their routines. im excited...i can't wait to get into my real orientation with consistent preceptors and start LEARNING!

okay, now a rewind...

TUESDAY: second day of hospital orientation. also, i finally got ahold of my original contact with nationwide. i reiterated my frustrations and general disgust with the carrier, and he apologized profusely and asked me to send him a written copy of my experience and all of the photographs i will be sending to the claims department. i agreed. (still working on those...hopefully i'll get everything finished up tomorrow while i'm off.) that afternoon, i called Express to verify that they would FINALLY be bringing me my vacuum. the guy told me that the driver left houston for san antonio around 4:15. the drive takes around 4 hours for a big truck, putting the driver in san antonio around 8:15. the dispatcher gave me the driver's phone number and told me that i needed to call him around 8 to give him my address, which i thought was retarded...but ok. i mean, they just delivered my stuff a week ago...they've already lost my address? whatever. well, naturally, i forgot...i called the driver around 10. he said he'd left san antonio two hours before, because i hadn't called him. i know it's probably mostly my fault bc i was supposed to call him, but it just makes me mad bc that shouldn't be my responsibility. that was the first time in this whole experience that i was truly ANGRY. i'm just so sick of dealing with these people and their idiocy. they're the ones who forgot the vacuum in the first place; they should be the ones keeping up with how it gets back to me! stayed up for a couple more hours sorting through paperwork, and then off to bed.

WEDNESDAY: off. stayed in bed until 2. fantastic. got up and ran errands and mailed mom's birthday present. that night, i decided to take a field trip to Whole Foods and see what i could see. here's what i found...good times...

they have a MASSAGE PARLOR in the GROCERY STORE!!!! i can just see it..."relax, just breathe deep; in and out...*PRICE CHECK ON AISLE FOUR!!!*...in and out..." HELLO?!? go to a place where you can get commando and not worry about an overhead loudspeaker or hearing twenty people walk by talking on their cell phone! just sayin'...

crystal deodorant. hmm. so how do you know when you've put enough on? does it scratch your armpit?

frozen dog food. in tubes like they put hamburger meat in. interesting concept. do you have to fry it in a skillet, too?

digital price tags. how very cool!

as i was preparing to leave, i decided to run back by the soup and crackers aisle to get some water crackers...good snack. as i made my selection, a lady breezed by me and down to the soups. then...i saw the most bizarre thing i have ever seen. she took a can of soup and, while cupping it in the palm of one hand, she took a little arrowhead looking thing on a small chain and swung it over the soup. she put that can back, took another of exactly the same brand and type, and swung the chain over it again. apparently that one met her satisfaction, because she took it and walked on, never noticing that i was behind her. i called michelle to see if she had ever heard such a thing. she had not. i didn't want to offend the lady by asking her "what the heck?", but michelle made a good point...besides punk rocker goth people, hippies are more than willing to share their stories and and answer your questions, and are some of the friendliest people you will ever meet. true that. so i get off the phone and yes...i track this lady through the grocery store. yes, only me. i find her, apologize, and say that i by no means intend to offend her but...what the heck was she doing? she starts telling me about her pendulum and how it helps her find foods/vitamins/etc. that mesh with her system and her body's energies. she says its an art that she began learning from a naturalist in albuquerque back in the 70s (shocker!). then, another lady she met a few months ago who happened to walk up start talking about this blood type diet...not a lose weight kind of diet, but like, if your blood type is O, you follow this diet, etc., etc. it was...enlightening. very interesting. like michelle said..."only at whole foods!"

THURSDAY: on wed. night, i couldn't find my schedule for where i needed to be thursday. i knew i had a meditech class for half a day thurs and half a day friday, but i couldn't remember what times and didn't know where. so i crawl out of bed at 5, get ready, and get myself to the hospital by 7ish. hung out around HR until 8, when i find out (at 8:20) that my class starts at 8...at medical center. i am at city center...downtown. med center is a mile from my house...in NW San Antonio. so i get in the car, haul it, at get to the classroom at around 9. i apologized profusely to the the instructor, and she apologized right back, saying that there was no way she could get me caught up as late as i was. could i come back at 1? sure. go figure. again...only me...

okay kids...it's wicked late, you're all caught up, and i'm wiped out. g'nite...leave me some love!

first day!!

ok, this is going to have to be quick because i have to be up EARLY!

i DID make it to orientation on time today (yay me...8 minutes to spare!)...so proud of myself. see, it's actually quite an ordeal for me to get to work. takes me about 25-30 minutes depending on traffic (and no, my precious lubbockites, i do not hate it yet), and by the time i roll into the parking garage, i have taken three different highways to get there. and i only needed my garmin the first few times. i feel like an old pro :).

so orientation was all the usual stuff...benefits, endless safety stuff, the talk about the hospitals history and values and the founding nuns, more safety stuff, glucometer training, and MORE safety stuff. did i mention safety stuff?

end of the day, i had to run up to the unit to get some schedule stuff. the educator remembers me from November and bless her sweet soul, she didn't run the other way when she saw me :). got all of that figured out and was done.

house is still kind of cluttered (such is my life) but i'm going to work really hard on that tomorrow evening and on wednesday. i have meditech training for half a day thurs and then friday morning. friday afternoon i'm off to the unit for my first day there. say prayers that i listen good, nod, say yes ma'am a lot, and keep my pie hole shut! i am so excited about learning new stuff. pray God makes me a little pint-sized sponge and that i take to it all like surfactant to a 24 weeker's lungs.

can't wait to see you Lubbock people who are coming down this summer. the ones who have no plans to come yet...YET...what are you waiting on? ;)

much love to all...more soon!

grace,
amy :)

the long awaited post...

okay...for all of my devotees, my apologies. i haven't been to michelle's in a couple of days, and time warner just came today to get my internet hooked up. loving the fact that i am up in my loft laying in my bed and updating my blog. yess!!!

some of you know the story, but for those who don't...go potty and get a fresh cup of whatever you drink before you start reading, because you're in it for the long haul!

MONDAY:

it's been such a crazy week, i really don't remember all that much from Monday. mostly, we just puttered around the (mostly empty) house, mom reading and me running various errands all over town. had to go up to the hospital to get my TB test and inprocessing paperwork. Occupational (employee) health then sent me upstairs to have titers (levels) drawn to make sure i have chicken pox and Hepatitis B immunity, among other things. then off to a clinic to pee in a cup and prove to "them" that i do not have an affinity for fentanyl, versed, morphine, or any other drug i might come into contact with in the hospital (and some that i would only come across under the I-35 bridge). i think there was probably a trip to wal-mart in there, somewhere. heaven knows i've been like 20 times in the last four days. got a confirmation call from the freaker idiots at express...*SOAPBOX ALERT* DO NOT EVER EVER EVER USE ANY MOVING COMPANY THAT IS IN ANY WAY AFFILIATED WITH EXPRESS RELOCATION...EVER!!!! *soapbox over* ...that my stuff would indeed be delivered Tuesday morning, probably around 9ish am. fantastic...and about freakin' time!! i crawled into bed feeling reassured that i would soon have my life back.

TUESDAY:

0700: alarm clock goes off. hit snooze.
0709: alarm clock goes off. hit snooze.
0718: alarm clock goes off. hit snooze.
0727: alarm clock goes off. turn off alarm. roll out of bed, tug jeans on. deodorant and perfume. grab keys and head off to Shipley Donuts *heaven!!!!*
0800: place order at Shipley's. proceed to dump out purse before realizing that debit card is at apartment. blast.
0819: retrieve debit card from home.
0834: retrieve donuts.
0848: pick up OJ and milk. call Nationwide to tell them that movers were supposed to be here between 8 and 9 and i still haven't heard from them.
0910: dispatch at Express calls. "we're really sorry, we're just getting your truck loaded and we're gonna have to weigh it. we should be in SA about noon." fantastic. see you guys then.
0935: after enjoying the bliss that is Shipley's, crawl back between covers on air mattress and proceed to weave in and out of dreamland for the next couple of hours.
11:50: check phone clock, realize that i should probably get off my hump and help mom start moving what little stuff is out, out of the way.
12:10: stuff out of the way. still haven't heard from movers.
12:30: called dispatch directly. um...i still haven't heard from the driver. when are you guys gonna be here? "oh, we're really sorry. we had a lot of trucks to load and unload today. they just left about an hour ago. tehy'll be there about 3:30, 4:00." grr! fine, i guess i can wait another couple of hours.
4:20: movers FINALLY SHOW UP!!! Hallelujah!!!

...or not. The furniture was in the back, so it got unloaded first. They brought in my office furniture, etc., and then started unloading my bedroom suite...the relatively expensive one that I bought when I graduated from nursing school. they got the headboard and footboard upstairs, and then scuffed up the ceiling dragging the mattresses up and not watching the height of the ceiling vs. height of mattress. (there's plenty of room). the list goes ON and ON...i'll save you the narration and just get right to the dirty, sucky details. they had a hard time getting my couch to fit through the front door. during their several attempts, the blankets the couch was wrapped in slipped off. they tossed them aside and proceeded to drag my leather couch across cement in their effort to get it inside. a big decorative mirror was broken (fortunately, it was from wal-mart and so not expensive, but still, it's the principle of the matter). multiple boxes were waterstained. most of the boxes looked like they'd been through three or four moves. mind you, pretty much all of my boxes came from the hospital or the surgical center that i worked at (thank you thank you my trisha friend) and so were in very good condition when i got them. they were all taped up very well. when i got them, they looked like they had been thrown around several times. i know that they were offloaded and reloaded at least once, because the truck they left Lubbock in and the truck they showed up to san antonio in were different. my two end tables were taken apart and thrown into a box and are not fixable. my washer and dryer are scratched. every box that i labeled "this side up"...well, that side was most definitely not up. grenadine syrup leaked all over one box, cough syrup all over another. the middle reinforcement leg under my bedroom dresser had small pieces of wood broken off at the supports so that it's integrity was compromised. they left a HUGE pile of tape and trash at the end of my walkway where they offloaded everything. they left water bottles all over the parking lot and even stuck in the bushes. then, they forgot to give me a reciept. after a day and a half of sorting through boxes, i realized that my BRAND NEW vacuum was missing. when i got ahold of the company on thursday to ask them about the forgotten reciept, i happened to ask about the vacuum. the OWNER OF THE COMPANY (i know he's the owner because i asked) told me, "oh yeah, it's here. we're gonna bring it back next tuesday when we're back in town with another shipment." HELLO!?!?!!?!! how's that for customer service? were they just going to show up here with my vacuum if i hadn't called and hope i was home? (the moving truck was nowhere near full, btw). they never called to say, "hey, by the way, you may have noticed that your vacuum is not there. we're sorry, we accidentally forgot to put it on the truck. we're back in town tuesday, so we'll drop it off then." HOW HARD CAN THAT BE???? so it has definitely been a series of most unfortunate events. note to all of yourselves...

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER USE EXPRESS RELOCATION, INC. (BASED IN HOUSTON) FOR ANY MOVE YOU MIGHT BE CONSIDERING. EVER. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

As my friend beth said..."U and Haul could have done this one way quicker and with much less heartache...and with friends who would have been much more careful with your stuff!" yes, sister...you ARE correct.

Tuesday night and wednesday night were spent unpacking boxes like a maniac, just trying to get the boxes out of my house and make room. See, all of the boxes were stacked four high and three deep against my stair wall, which also happened to be the wall that my TV would be on. i had to get the boxes out of the way because Time Warner came and set up my internet and cable thursday (which is why you're finally getting this ridiculous-long post). Bubba got here last night, and we got up this morning and started hanging pictures and trying to get rid of clutter. We're getting there, very slowly.

tomorrow, we'll put mom on a plane back to Amarillo and then it'll just be me and mark. We'll probably spend the rest of the weekend unpacking and arranging. Bubba will have to go back Sunday night and then it will finally just be me. don't get me wrong, i have absolutely been so grateful for their help and would probably be sitting on the floor cross-legged and rocking back and forth if not for them. but until i am here by myself, i don't think it will be real. say some prayers, huh? that's gonna be interesting.

orientation is monday and tuesday...get excited! back to the grindstone. side note...met my right side neighbor today. older man. bubba was taking bridget out and saw him sitting on his porch, so he introduced himself. old man comes over to meet me (who hasn't showered in two days and is wearing pajama pants and a hoodie so as to put off the wearing of certain other garments), and waltzes right into my house and plops down in a chair at my kitchen table!!! he told me that he does free computer repairs and that he's a coffee fiend, so any time i need a cappuccino, just knock on his door and he'll fix me up. he kind of creeped me out a little.

ok, gotta take myself to bed so i'll be willing to wake up at a decent hour. much love to all!

day 3...we have a DATE!!!

YAYA!!!! FINALLY got ahold of dispatch this morning. My stuff is in a warehouse and it is all in a truck now. Still don't know how much I'm going to owe them (they've still gotta weigh the truck since it had someone else's stuff on it before), but it's gonna be here TUESDAY MORNING!!! Right this second, that's about 36 hours away. i can do that.

otherwise, things are good. i got a craving for lobster bites from Long John Silver's. no problem right? so i type it in to my GPS. get to the location, and it's not LJS anymore. bummer. so i go south to hit the loop and head to Michelle's. problem. the entrance ramp was out, so i had to follow the access road and then get back on. type LJS into my GPS for a second time to get the closest location to michelle's. get to it, and guess what...it's not a LJS anymore, either. !! so i head for the third closest location on my GPS, praying that it's actually a LJS. SCORE! third time's the charm, i guess. and yes...they were worth it. now I'm at Michelle's washing the towels we got today at walmart to get us through until the moving truck gets here with the rest of my stuff. we got a queen-size air mattress so mom and i would not have to continue to stay in a hotel (since i have my linens with me) and we got two camp chairs for the living room. we put an empty ice chest between the two chairs for drinks and then turned a laundry basket upside down to function as an ottoman/footrest. pics to follow... ah, this will make for memories later.

my health screening is tomorrow at 11 AM...get to be poked and stuck and injected and God knows what else...hope i can find the place with relative ease.

well, off to the hospital with Michelle to go see the babies and take a present for them...this will serve the dual function of me actually getting to DRIVE to the hospital and get a feel for where to go.

much love!!

day 2 (written in the wee hours of day 3)

ah, the lengths we will go to in order to stay connected with the rest of the world...i am sure definitely sitting in my little kia in the parking lot of a hotel that i am NOT staying in so that i can filch their wifi long enough to update my blog. the internet at my house is not set up yet (hard to do since my network computer is sitting on a truck that only God knows where it is...more in a minute) and the hotel we are staying in does not have wireless, free or otherwise. i was going to go to michelle's and pirate off of theirs, but then she called me and said that this drunk lady hit her car and then drove off! (she's fine, car's perfectly driveable) and so she has to stay near the hospital, where the accident happened (she had just gotten done seeing the twins she delivered four weeks ago-surrogate pregnancy). thus my current situation. yes, go ahead, laugh...only me!

so...the hot topic of the moment...where's my stuff? answer...i dunno. I called the moving company friday around noon, and they said they didn't have the stuff yet...probably later on that day. (The company i originally contacted, Nationwide, only coordinates the move...they get all the pertinent info, etc., and then call a company that they contract with and pass that info on...Express Relocation, in this case...and Express is the company who gets the truck and the actual movers). So Nationwide is sort of a go-between for me and Express. So I call Nationwide back around 3 on Friday, and they say we're really sorry, still don't have any info, but we'll have customer service give you a holler this evening and update you. Bout 7 Friday night, I'm at dinner, having some fabulous cheese rolls and sushi, and I realize that I haven't gotten a call back yet. Bah. So I try both companies...both are closed for the day. Bah again. So we (me, mom, bubba) got a hotel (Bubba got here around 5) and decided to just chill for the night.

This morning (Saturday morning), I got up and called Nationwide, thinking that surely they would have some info by now. They tried to call Express, and didn't get an answer. They left a message and then got back on the phone with me, apologized, said they are usually really good about quickly returning phone calls, but would I like their number so that I could call them? absolutely. i'd love it. so i call the number (which I already had from the drama when I still hadn't heard from anyone about when my movers were gonna show up the day before they were supposed to be there), and i get the answering machine. wanna know why? because Express is CLOSED ON SATURDAY!!! what the heck?!?! they're open friday and SUNDAY, but closed saturday. great. so i leave them a not-so-patient message (no, Kristie, I didn't cuss at them...but i wanted to! guess i'll put my quarters in the mail...). then i get online to see if i can find any other numbers for this company. i find one, it ends up being a call center, they give me a different number than the one i have, but it just rings off the hook. bah. so then i decide, "well, i've still got the moving truck driver's phone number; i'll call him. y'all, I just counted...i called him NINE TIMES on my phone and left messages. he has yet to return my call. at around 2:15 this afternoon, Nationwide called me and said we're really sorry, we've tried calling them, and we think they're closed today...we recommend that you be on the phone with them first thing Monday morning. No worries...I'll be on the phone with them here in about eight hours when they open at 9:00 AM Sunday morning. i wouldn't be so antsy, but remember how the people whose stuff was supposed to be UNloaded before mine was LOADED stood the driver up? well, that means that not quite all my stuff fit INSIDE the truck, so it rode strapped to the ramp on the back of the truck...on the OUTSIDE... for nine hours to houston and has possibly (although i dearly HOPE they have more sense than this) been sitting out in the elements for the last 48 hours? yeah. we're talking my bedroom suite, my office desk, my kitchen table, my queen size mattress and box springs...it is only by the grace of God that I am not crawling out of my skin with anger and fear. thank you to my sweet friends who i know have been praying for my sanity and my stuff's safety...you bless me!

anyway, back to today. bubba and i left mom at the hotel (she was real tired and just wanted to read her book) and finally went to my apartment and unloaded what has been in my truck. again, by the grace of God, I have clean sheets, my comforter, my t-shirt quilt mom made me, shower curtain, cleaning stuff...basic necessities if, God forbid, my stuff doesn't get here for another several days. so we unloaded and put all of that away and then went to wal-mart for a bathroom *PAUSE*

i've had my ipod on listening to it as i type, and I've just kind of been halfway. it was almost as if God just tuned me in to the beginning of the song that just began to play...

"what a friend we have in Jesus
all our sins and griefs to bear
what a privilege to carry
EVERYTHING to God in prayer

oh what peace we often forfeit
oh what needless pain we bear
all because we do not carry
EVERYTHING to God in prayer

HAVE WE TRIALS and temptations?
IS THERE TROUBLE ANYWHERE?
WE SHOULD NEVER BE DISCOURAGED...
take it to the Lord in prayer!

can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness
take it to the Lord in prayer

Jesus knows my every weakness...
take it to the Lord in prayer!"

thank you, Jesus...i needed that. in the midst of my craziness and confusion, continually remind me to stop and be still...

anyway, bubba and i went to walmart for a small cabinet to put in my bathroom (a little extra storage space) and some other randomness that i needed. we spent several hours at my new place between unloading the truck, walmart, and then back to the house to set up our purchases (along with the bathroom cabinet, we got two camp chairs for the living room and a queen-size air mattress in case my stuff really DOES take several more days and a corner storage rack for my shower that i'm gonna have to return...it doesn't fit...i hate rturning stuff to walmart; can i get an amen?). then we went and picked mom up for dinner...Pappasito's, mmm. Got the seafood enchiladas. it was ok, but the sauce was a little sweet and the scallops were a little overpowering. Took mom to the apartment for the first time after dinner, and then we stopped by the cheesecake factory on the way back to the hotel...YES, LORD! I got a slice of blueberry white chocolate cheesecake...mmm. just mmmm. then me, mom, and mark sat on one of the hotel beds and played phase 10 and i SO WON by the skin of my teeth! it was such fun...we laughed and laughed.

ok, friends, this is way too long...i gotta get to bed so that i'll be halfway willing to emerge from my covers in the morning to call Express back. pray that Satan doesn't temporarily inhabit my body and take control of my attitude. and pray that maybe i'll finally get SOME kind of information about the whereabouts of my stuff and when i'll get it...

love you all...i'm holding on to 1 thessalonians 5:24--"the One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it." whatever the IT is in your life right now...remember, you're never out of His hand. He's hanging on to you and He's got a plan. the t-shirt is true...LIFE IS GOOD!

~amy :)

day 1

well, we finally got to San Antonio early this morning...i crossed the San Antonio city limit sign at 1:52 AM. got to Michelle's at about 2:15, was in bed by 3. woke up this morning at 11...good sleep. I called the moving company earlier this morning, but they didn't have the weight estimate and delivery time for me just yet. i'm betting the driver didn't get to bed until well after i did (they had to go back to houston, remember), so he'll probably fax the paperwork to the moving company after he wakes up. As it's already almost 2:00 PM and it takes 3-5 hours to get from Houston to here with a moving truck, my money's on them not getting here and unloading until tomorrow. that's ok. i can get into my new place, put a roll of tp on the roll, and get oriented. go to walmart...all that good stuff. actually, i guess i'll be going to HEB...the grocery stores down here. gotta check that business out.

so for those who are wondering...yes, it finally hit me. In a bathroom stall in a truck stop in Junction, TX. of all places...whatever. everything i have known for months in my head finally got across to my heart. now, before you go saying "we told you so"...yes, you did. but you didn't have to. i knew it was coming; i just didn't know when. i won't lie...my heart was a little overwhelmed that all of the incredible people i know and love are now at least six hours away. that i have to make new friends...that after so much time, it's finally here and this is really happening and not somethiing abstract any more. that i really am starting a new job...bottom of the totem pole...don't know anyone...don't know anything...that i may have to humble myself and be okay with asking for help and give up my independent streak for a little while.

but then i'm reminded...the God of the universe...the one who is head over heels in love with me...the one who sacrificed everything...EVERYTHING so that I could be His...He is here. i saw a quote recently that speaks such hope and peace into my heart...

"When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step out into the darkness, Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: there will be something to stand on or you will be taught how to fly." -unknown

So pray with me...pray that my heart is open to new experiences and new people. that on the days and nights that i am hurting and lonely that i remember that my Redeemer lives...that He holds me in the palm of His hand...that i am HIS and he knows what is going on...that His head is not in His hands when things go awry. Pray that i trust Him for my strength and that I will lean wholeheartedly into His most Everlasting Arms.

Off to the new place for the first time here in a bit...will let you know how it goes!