back to school...

well, school has started back. let me just say, thank you JESUS that I am done in december. why again do i keep telling people i'm going to get my masters' in a few years? am i crazy? do i really want to do this again? give it a few years...maybe then.

Bible should be interesting...i'm taking Romans and the professor is great-he told us his story last week in class, and let's just say he's been to hell and back. several times. the perfect example of the ragamuffin gospel. i'm stoked.

Community health...we'll see. lots of projects, as is custom in the LCU nursing department. i already got one thing done...gonna try to get as much done as possible early on, so i don't have to fool with it later.

Scientific inquiry...basically, intro to research. i think it will be interesting, but really...for three straight hours? maybe not so much. the professor is great, though...i have a feeling we won't EVER be staying the whole three hours. good times.

i can't believe it's almost september. the year is flying by. seems like yesterday it was january and i was in bekah's wedding and starting school. craziness. i'm kind of glad the year is almost over (relatively speaking). i feel like i have fallen so far in my spiritual walk. i want so much to be back in regular fellowship with a group of people who love me and care about every aspect of my life. i miss that. i miss it a lot. it's true what the Word says, that we were meant for fellowship. it is a hard thing to go this road we call life alone.

on a less serious note...i cut my hair! it's SO cute (well, i like it). kind of swept to the side in the front and about an inch and a half long in the back and kind of fluffed out...variation on what i had before i let my hair grow out. it feels more like me, for sure.

back to work now...much love!

glory babies

so i visited a new church last sunday, and the pastor's wife (who happened to be sitting behind me) introduced herself and we started talking. she discovered i am a NICU nurse and then told me she'd had a son in a NICU in Albuquerque several years before.

she then told me she'd been wanting to get involved somehow, to kind of "give back." she wtalked about coming in to rock/hold babies or help out any way we could. i told her some of the things our volunteers do, and the conversation ended shortly.

i leaned over to the friend i was visiting with, and she told me that this mother had not, in fact, left the hospital with her son.

ever.

my heart broke once again for the empty arms of yet another.

i never realized, until i entered this sacred world, how many lives have been touched by the tragedy of premature birth. i have been so richly blessed over the last two years to watch families grow and heal. what a privilege to be involved in the lives of their tiniest miracles. it means the world when someone thanks me for helping to heal their child. i am so thankful God has placed this particular calling on my life...

yesterday i visited the same church. afterward, i went to the visitors' center, because i didn't get an information packet last week. the pastor came up as i was talking to a few others, and introduced himself, saying he thought he remembered me. i told him i'd visited last week and met his wife. "Yeah," he said, "I think she mentioned you." "I'm the NICU nurse," I said. "Yeah," he said again, "I saw you two talking and thought you guys went way back. Then, I watched her praying over you during worship. She told me what you do. Thank you." He then told his nine year old son, "This is Amy. She works in the NICU, where Grayson was. Remember all those months when Grayson was in the hospital?"

And I was struck once again, my heart warming to see the healing that had taken place. I value those prayers so much...from the heart of a mother that has been irrevocably, everlastingly touched. She will not hold her son again in this life, but it speaks to my heart that she is healing and reaching out to bless others...that she is allowing God to use her as a testament to His grace and peace.

For Joel, Memphis, Grayson, and every other glory baby...

Glory Baby
Watermark

Glory baby
you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby...
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby...
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe
until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…

CHORUS
But we miss you everyday
We miss you in every way
But we know there’s a day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘til mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little babies
it’s hard to understand it
‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes
just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…

CHORUS

BRIDGE: I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…
all you’ll ever know…

there i go again...

and here it is a month later, and i'm just now updating. life is busy, as always.

i changed my first broviac dressing tonight...imagine that, I've been a NICU nurse for over a year, and just now doing that. i felt kind of stupid asking for help and having to admit it was my first time ever...it's kind of like once you've been here six months, a year, once you've become a transport team member...you sort of expect yourself to know those things.

one of the girls who joined the transport team only a few months before i did placed lines on a new baby tonight. by herself. scrubbed in, sterile drapes (without taking 10 minutes to fully think through "this first, then this, d*&^%t, am i still sterile? yes? ok...then this..."), place the lines, suture, check the chest x-ray to ensure lines are in the right place (without having to go ask)...grr. she's been checked off and all that, but it's just frustrating to not be there yet. to still know that i am totally green as far as this transport thing goes...that at this point (and i'm not downing myself) i am probably more of a burden than a help.

humbling.